Question

Here is an paper...
I need someone to read it and honestly evaluate it using a rubric. I will post the paper and the rubric in a comment (:
Thanksssss if your gonna help meh :D

Answer 1

Ivy Mckenzie
English 1 B



When choosing a laptop, especially for school, a few things should be taken into understanding ; it will need to be fast, it's a must for a school laptop to have a big data holding space, but most of all it must be reliable.

It is always important for a laptop to be fast, wether for school or not, but there are so many more reasons why its more important when for school.A slow laptop is more likely to crash and cause the student to lose there work, than a fast laptop, this affects the ability to complete school work.This is because a laptop usually doesnt have enough room for data that it is holding. Which often leads to slowness of a computer, eventually ending up in crashing. The key is to get a fast computer, meaning one able to handle a good amount of data.The laptop processor, RAM, and Hard Drive Speed will all affect the speediness of a laptop, a fast laptop with good RAM, Hard Drive Speed and processor wont be slow, or eventually crash.

Data holding is always important when dealing with school, you want a laptop that will be able to hold more than just a dozen long essays and some mulitmedia presentations without slowing down. In school you HAVE to have somewhere to hold all your important presentations, essays, pictures, everything! Though people usually save things on there laptops hard drive and a backup hard drive so that no matter what, they wont lose it. I researched that a good way to hold your data safe, is to hold it in a backup laptop hard drive. This way it wont bug with your processor or affect your RAM, and you dont have to worry about losing important school stuff if it crashes!! If you back up your laptop hard drive you cant be sure that you wont lose anything important, priceless pictures, essays that took forever to write... multimedia presentation... etc.

A laptop always should be reliable, you should know it wont crash in the middle of writing an important paper due tomorrow.Most laptops, will begin to get slow, and more unreliable with too much storage being taken up, therefore a good laptop wont be affected by such things. I read that a fast laptop should have a lot of RAM, a good processor, and a back up hard drive if it has those things it will usually be reliable. There are many main features to look for that will give you a reliable laptop, such as a good processor, a good "LCD viewing screen", "Good computer graphics", "Computer memory (RAM)", an okay "laptop hard drive", always good to have a reliable "battery life", "wireless networking", "optical drives" , "connectivity", a carrying case is optional and always, "Warrenty" !!

Overall, this is a guideline to finding a great laptop. School is important, and since you might rely on your laptop to give you the materials to do good, its important to pick wisely, make sure it fast, has a good data holding ability, and is reliable, with all that, it makes a great laptop!


Works Cited:

Supporting sentence 1 of 1st body paragraph
http://www.ehow.com/how_7148172_computer-slow-keeps-crashing.htm

Supporting sentence 2 of 1st body paragraph
http://www.ehow.com/facts_7151420_laptop-fast_.html

Supporting sentence 1 of 2nd body paragraph
http://www.data-backup-and-storage.com/backup-laptop-hard-drive.html

Supporting sentence 2 of 2nd body paragraph
http://electronics.howstuffworks.com/how-to-tech/how-to-back-up-hard-drive.htm

Supporting sentence 1 of 3rd body paragraph
http://www.eslbee.com/how_to_choose_the_best_laptop_computer.htm

Supporting sentence 2 of 3rd body paragraph
http://www.thelaptopauthority.com/laptop-computer.html

Answer 2

There ya goooooo ^_^

Here is the rubric :D

Research Paper Evaluation Sheet
Using the 6 + 1 Trait Rubric

Student Name: Essay Title:
Class: Date:

This rubric and scoring guide is a condensed version of the full 6 + 1 Traits of Writing Rubric. Students should check the complete rubric for a more complete description of the traits. For this assignment, the teacher will score each of the areas under consideration, and this will determine the student’s work schedule for the semester.


Rubric Description Teacher Score/
Comments
Ideas/Content
5: The writer has narrowed the focus to a manageable level, making a strong and clear point and supporting it with solid information. Information that is not on topic has been excluded. The reader gets a clear and persuasive message.
3: The writing is overly broad, but still manageable. The writer’s point is there, but it is not as clearly focused or clear as it could be. The supporting evidence is adequate to support the point, but either more evidence would help, or there is support material that is not truly on topic.
1: There might not be a clear focus or idea holding the essay together. Support is missing or not clearly related to an idea. Score (Underline one)

1 2 3 4 5

Comments:

Organization
5: The essay has a clearly defined beginning that introduces the topic well, a supporting middle, and end that brings the essay to a satisfactory close. Paragraphs are organized around clear topics, and they contain material that is closely related. The paragraphs flow from one to another in a sequence that makes sense in supporting the main idea. Transitions within the paragraphs and between paragraphs help define the organization.
3: The essay has a beginning, middle, and end, but they do not achieve their purposes as well as they should. Paragraphs have topics, but they are not completely unified. Transitions sometimes help, but could be more effective. Although there is an attempt to sequence the presentation of support, it does not have as much logical flow as the best papers.
1: Paragraphing is not clear or is absent. There is little attempt to create an introduction or conclusion. The arrangement of supporting information does not have a clear structure to it. Score (Underline one)

1 2 3 4 5

Comments:

Sentence Fluency
5: The sentences are varied in length and structure. They help support the meaning and build reader interest. The writing has a cadence, or a sound that moves the reader along.
3: Some sentence variety is attempted, and the sentences are soundly written and not confusing to the reader. Some sentences might be awkward or clumsy.
1. Sentences have almost all the same pattern, with no attempt at variety or style. Some sentences may be incomplete or run on. Score (Underline one)

1 2 3 4 5

Comments:

Conventions
5. The writing is generally free of errors in spelling, usage, and grammar. The few errors that exist can be fixed easily through editing and do not interfere with communication.
3. The writing has only moderate errors in spelling, usage, and grammar that can impede communication. Paragraphing is attempted, although the topic focus may not be clear.
1. Significant errors in spelling, usage, and grammar impede learning. Paragraphing is missing or irregular and unrelated to the meaning of the text. Score (Underline one)

1 2 3 4 5

Comments:

Voice
5. The writer speaks directly to the reader in a way that is individual, compelling, and engaging. The writing as appropriate to both the audience and purpose of the writing.
3. The writer does not seem personally connected to the purpose or audience. The writing seems to be a formal exercise about which the writer has few personal feelings.
1. The purpose of the writing is not clear, and it tends to be lifeless and uninspiring.
Score (Underline one)

1 2 3 4 5

Comments:

Word Choice
5. Words convey the intended message in a precise, interesting, and natural way. The words are powerful and engaging. Striking language and lively verbs enhance reader interest, and the words chosen are accurate and precise in meaning.
3. Word choices are generally accurate, and the writer attempts to use colorful and lively words. The text achieves the communicative purpose of the topic, but using everyday words and passive voice.
1. Language is vague and at times inaccurate. Vocabulary is limited. Inappropriate jargon and clichés may interfere with the connection with the audience.
Score (Underline one)

1 2 3 4 5

Comments:

Presentation
Note: Appropriate presentation depends upon the type of assignment; this description is appropriate only to this specific assignment.
5. The appearance of the writing is attractive and does not confuse the reader. In this assignment, the writer will use an appropriate and consistent font, font size, color, and margins.
3. Fonts are consistent and appropriate, but the student may use inappropriate margins or spacing between paragraphs (a common practice among students attempting to make a written assignment appear to be longer than it actually is).
1. The student changes fonts inappropriately, has inappropriate margins and spaces between paragraphs, and other choices that distract the reader or interfere with communication. Score (Underline one)

1 2 3 4 5

Comments:

Research Formatting
5. The essay uses MLA form for documentation and Works Cited properly. Almost materials are properly formatted, with few exceptions.
3. Occasional lapses in documentation occur. The works cited page has some errors.
1. Documentation is missing or done without proper form. The Works Cited page is missing or done incorrectly. Score (Underline one)

1 2 3 4 5

Comments:

Overall Comments
Was the paper long enough for evaluation?

Score (Underline one)

1 2 3 4 5

Comments:

Answer 3

Wow ... didnt realize how much writing that was ^_^

Answer 4

WHY WOULD YOU LIE ABOUT YOUR NAME??????????????????

Answer 5

Oh, stalkers, right:P

Answer 6

When choosing a laptop, especially for school, a few things should be taken into understanding ; it will need to be fast, it's a must for a school laptop to have a big data holding space, but most of all it must be reliable. It is always important for a laptop to be fast, whether for school or not, but there are so many more reasons why it’s more important when for school. A slow laptop is more likely to crash and cause the student to lose their work, than a fast laptop, this affects the ability to complete school work. This is because a laptop usually doesn’t have enough room for data that it is holding. This often leads to a slower computer, eventually ending up in crashing. The key is to get a fast computer, meaning one able to handle a good amount of data. The laptop processor, RAM, and Hard Drive Speed will all affect the speediness of a laptop, a fast laptop with good RAM, Hard Drive Speed and processor won’t be slow, or eventually crash. Data holding is always important when dealing with school; you want a laptop that will be able to hold more than just a dozen long essays and some multimedia presentations without slowing down. In school you HAVE to have somewhere to hold all your important presentations, essays, pictures, everything! Though people usually save things on their laptops, hard drive, and a backup hard drive so that no matter what, they won’t lose it. I researched that a good way to hold your data safe, is to hold it in a backup laptop hard drive. This way it won’t bug with your processor or affect your RAM, and you don’t have to worry about losing important school stuff if it crashes!! If you back up your laptop hard drive you can’t be sure that you won’t lose anything important, priceless pictures, essays that took forever to write... multimedia presentation... etc. A laptop always should be reliable; you should know it won’t crash in the middle of writing an important paper due tomorrow. Most laptops, will begin to get slow, and more unreliable with too much storage being taken up, therefore a good laptop won’t be affected by such things. I read that a fast laptop should have a lot of RAM, a good processor, and a backup hard drive if it has those things it will usually be reliable. There are many main features to look for that will give you a reliable laptop, such as a good processor, a good "LCD viewing screen", "Good computer graphics", "Computer memory (RAM)", an okay "laptop hard drive", always good to have a reliable "battery life", "wireless networking", "optical drives" , "connectivity", a carrying case is optional and always, "Warranty" !! Overall, this is a guideline to finding a great laptop. School is important, and since you might rely on your laptop to give you the materials to do good, it’s important to pick wisely, make sure it fast, has a good data holding ability, and is reliable, with all that, it makes a great laptop!

Answer 7

Thanks Arky (:
Do you think you could fill out the Rubric now ? xD

Answer 8

okasay:D

Answer 9

Shank you (:
LMFAO i actually say shank you in real life ^_^

Answer 10

Shank you???????
Like,,, Stab you?????
lmfao:D

Answer 11

Oh yes ^_^
STAB
LOL

Answer 12

lmfao......pleasant:P

Answer 13

Only if you do it right!!!
:D :D

Answer 14

Im sorry, I leave the evaluating to the teaches-__-, I fear Ill give you a bad opinion

Answer 15

Ahww its better than nothing!! Go for it :D
I rather turn your opinion in than my mom or dads ;P

Answer 16

Okasay!

Answer 17

Evaluation:
5
5
4
3
4
5
5
1

Answer 18

80%

Answer 19

Ooooh a B! lol
Whoop whoop! ^_^

Answer 20

Get those citations in and your'll have something higher:D
Right now its a C

Answer 21

:P
LOL
At least i passed ^_^
And i am wayyyy too lazy to try to like.. improve my grade or somefin.. i mean who does that!!?
LOL
:D
oh and....
STAB

Answer 22

STAB STAB STAB STAB
mwuahahahaha

Answer 23

The citations easy, go to http://www.citationmachine.net/index2.php?reqstyleid=1&newstyle=1 Its EASY

Answer 24

Ik lol :P
I havent done it yet ^_^ I was being lazay

Answer 25

*I put on a bulletproof vest* HAHA

Answer 26

*rips off bullet proof vest*
Exposed....
mwuahahaha now i can stab freely ^_^

Answer 27

I am a dragon, lol, hehehe

Answer 28

If your a dragon ..
im a ninja :D :D
So badass :D :D lmfao

Answer 29

Im a shapeshifter:D

Answer 30

Damn it .... you got meh there....
Well i am.... poison ivy from batman :D :D :D

Answer 31

ok, doesn't change anything still:P

Answer 32

Yea.. it doesnt ^_^
Except...
Ya it doesnt.. lmfao
But i still beat you :D :D

Answer 33

sure ok:P LMFAO

Answer 34

Well.. in creepiness that is :P
I havent talked to Ingo in like... a whole 3 days.. >.<
lmfao

Answer 35

Thats not very long, lmao:P

Answer 36

It is too!!! :O
Well for us at least ^_^
He says he cant risk not seeing or talking to me everyday...
He is convinced some boy is going to come along and steal me away from him ;P
Silleh Ingo lmfao

Answer 37

He acts like he doesnt know i am a creeper.. tsk tsk ... lmfao

Answer 38

lmfao, creepers, hehe:P

Answer 39

Yezzir (:
But you love us :D :D
Like deloris loves boys she doesnt know.. you love us :D :D

Answer 40

By us you mean creepers and Im a creeper so your saying us creepers right?:D:P

Answer 41

Of course darling :D
You love us ^_^
Where is deloris... i have been wanting to say THAT SHE BLOWS all day ;P

Answer 42

THAR SHE BLOWS, LMFAO, really:P

Answer 43

Heh
i love froggy ^_^
Both you and him make my sides hurt from laughing!!! :D :D

Answer 44

And haha soweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
jeezus... i cant type or fix my mistakes today ;P

Answer 45

LMFAO, We're blonde:P What do you expect??

Answer 46

Hmmmm
I guess good typing?
:D

Answer 47

me? no way:P

Answer 48

:D!!!
You would totally be my best friend if you lived here :D

Answer 49

Wish I lived in Washington:P

Answer 50

Or i lived in Virginia ^_^ ]
Either way is cool :D :D
We would be so weird... and prolly laugh a lot .. and ppl would be like wth..? im lost.. lmfao

Answer 51

Yeah, really:P Kinda like when I walked through Richmond with a safari hat, a gay light green Malibu shirt, cargo shorts, a band bowtie and cummarbund.:P It was hilarious!

Answer 52

Yeah:P
LMFAO, we would look soo...soo...WIERD:D, LMFAO!!!

Answer 53

Haha!!!!!!!!! You wanna know whats ironic... i just said i would wear 80's stuff .. and michael jackson just came on the radio... omg... somebody kill the radio before he kills my ears... ^_^

Answer 54

lmfao, exept he was a good musician. Too bad he was messed up mentally.

Answer 55

Ya he was ^_^
Too bad he molested kids ;P
I am actually listening to him ^_^

Answer 56

Yeah, nice, my mom hates him though, she wont let me listen to him:/
What ever their are plenty more good singers:P

Answer 57

OH WA AH AH AH!!!!!!!!!1
wink wink :D :D

Answer 58

LMFAO:D

Answer 59

Or rape me........ rape me .. my friend.........

Answer 60

I dont know that song???:/

Answer 61

:O Nirvana!!!!!!!!!

Answer 62

oh, lmao, Ill have to liste to them more:D

Answer 63

Wow, never heard of that happening:P

Answer 64

IKR!!!
But...
i just turn the volume all the way up....
oh damn..
lmfao

Answer 65

wow, That's crazy, lmfao:P

Answer 66

Yea it is ^_^
But anh its Nirvana (:
Its gotta have some sexual effect :P
I like music that makes me wanna go crazy...
so i like Nirvana ^_^

Answer 67

No wonder I kept getting horny listening to it:P, LMFAO

Answer 68

:D!!!
Seeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
It is awesome ^_^
and porn for the ears ^_^

Answer 69

Ear sex:P

Answer 70

That sounds very ...
impossible :D :D

Answer 71

lmfao, you know what I meant:P

Answer 72

brb!!

Answer 73

Okasay:P

Answer 74

^_^ baaaaaaaaaaak