Question

Hello, I would like help with my essay, and I was wondering who might help me proof read it?

Answer 1

I'm going through it right now. I'll send it back in a few minutes.

Answer 2

I corrected a lot of sentences, the corrections are shown in red, but I would review the purpose of writing it again because the paper is missing a thesis and seems to lack a purpose.
Make sure that the first paragraph states a thesis introducing the topics you're going to cover and that each body paragraph serves its purpose.
Also, try to eliminate the first person sentences and contractions. If your teacher doesn't care about it, then it doesn't matter, but it's generally seen as unprofessional.

Answer 3

thank you!