Question

check my essay entitled "My Working Day"

Answer 1

Please correct my grammar and you may add something to make it better. :)

Answer 2

I wake up at the morning at 6 o’clock. The first thing I do is brush my teeth and wash my face. Then I go outside for a walk and play Basketball. After playing Basketball I go back home and eat my breakfast. After eating my breakfast and washing the dishes. I open my computer and play games. After using my computer I go to my bedroom to do my assignments and read books. Then in the afternoon I go outside and ride a bicycle .After riding my bicycle I go back home and rest. After resting I eat my dinner. After eating my dinner I brush my teeth and sleep.

Answer 3

Try to vary your transition from sentence to sentence. (Instead of I did this. After doing this I did this. After doing that I did so and so" you could change out the word "after" for next, then, or a phrase like, as soon as I finished.

Also, you don't have to restate what you said in the last sentence everytime. If you just said you rode a bicycle, don't feel forced to say "after riding the bicycle, I..." Just try "Next, I went home to rest".

You can also try combining these sentences. Instead of "I rode my bike. After I rode my bike I slept" you could say, "I rode by bike and then went home to sleep".

Answer 4

okk thanks!

Answer 5

I wake up at the morning at 6 o’clock. The first thing I did is brush my teeth and wash my face. Next, I went outside for a walk and play Basketball. After playing Basketball I went back home and eat my breakfast. As soon as I finished my breakfast I washed the dishes and open my computer to play games. Next, I carried my books going to my bedroom to do my assignments and read books. Then in the afternoon I went outside and ride my bike and then went home to to rest . As I finished resting I cooked and ate my dinner then brush my teeth, pray and go to sleep.

Answer 6

How about that?

Answer 7

That's a lot better! You need to fix some tense agreement. For example in last sentence, you used "cooked" "ate" and "brush and "pray". That is past tense and present tense, You want the tenses to agree - like "As I finish resting and eating my dinner, I brush my teeth, pray, and go to sleep" Or "As I finished resting and eating my dinner, I brushed my teeth, prayed, and went to sleep"

Answer 8

ok
Thanks for the tip. :)