Question

This is not a question. It is a comment. I have reviewed some of the writing samples. Look at the section about sending a note following an interview. Observe the subordination. I suggest less subordination. Avoid "I feel that I am..." instead get to the point. An occasional "I feel" is acceptable, but the reader has to wait until the end of the sentence to get the point. Being direct does not mean the writer is being overly assertive.