Question

tell me watcha think =} :
we live in the city of sin
we fight til death wins
frozen i fall
but with your touch , u make me crawl
away from the light
away from this life
my pain is taken over my soul
my eyes cant see whats there for me
im broken inside, cant you see ?!
fallen so deeply into this nightmare
can you hear me screaming , get me out of here

Oh, im shaking senseless
my mind races for you
ill cross every mountain just to save someone like you..

Not to good. Better ones to come =] thanks. <3

Answer 1

its quite nice

Answer 2

rubbish

Answer 3

huh?

Answer 4

Nice flow, :) I would suggest watching out for parts that are too "wordy", poems with a good balance are always more interesting to read! :)

Answer 5

that's what called intellectual criticism..