Question

is this a good paragraph start? please feedback.

Answer 1

view the image.

Answer 2

just want some feedback please. thanks

Answer 3

I think its a good paragraph start. Very intresting topic. In one sentence you spelt off instead of the word of. it was in the sentence they serve as a good source off eggs for us.

Answer 4

thanks, but do you have any specific details of what you like about it.

Answer 5

i liked that you said that people would be healthier if they didn't eat meat and became vegetarians. And also that it would reduce health problems.

Answer 6

thanks

Answer 7

If your in highschool, you'll be fine. If you're in college you need to cite from somewhere to validate your claims.

Answer 8

i'm in middle school

Answer 9

Oh! Then your paper is fine! Good work!

Answer 10

Couple holistic points:

1) I think your content is good; however, the ideas seem to be scratchily placed next to each other without a good flow. It might be good to separate this paragraph into a few paragraphs.

2) I understand you are in middle school. This point is simply for the purpose of preparation: in higher levels of writing, contractions are considered to be informal. Rhetorical questions become flowery in the sense that they redirect attention from the reader back to the reader instead of logically presenting an argument.

3) Any assertions you make should either be factual or subjective. When factual, they need to be validated (or in this case, able to be validated upon further probing). When subjective, indicate through the sentence that the message is an opinion. For example, it is not true that chickens will one day become extinct just because the majority of people are not vegetarian.