Question

...someone messaged me. Hey bbe. xx You're cute.
o.o . . .

Answer 1

@ChristineToTheRescue Please report creepy behavior so we can do something about it. Thanks.

Answer 2

Myininaya, I'm really curious what "something" it is that you're doing about "creepy behavior." Sure, this is an educational site, but it still has a social component, and this is still the internet, darnit. People are gonna try to flirt with people. I don't see such a problem with it, and I think unless there's something obnoxious or verbally abusive about it, you should let it go. It's not so hard to ignore messages like that.

Answer 3

Don't be offensive, inappropriate, or creepy! So avoid:
Insulting, berating, or otherwise discouraging others.
Cursing and bypassing the language filters.
Sexual innuendo, or "hitting on people".
Soliciting personal, private, or offline contact information.
Any form of racism, sexism, or any other prejudicial "isms".

Answer 4

I copied this straight from the code of conduct.
We do not allow people to "hit on other people".

I was simply going to warn the person not to do it again but if he continued further action will be taken.

Answer 5

he meaning he or she of course

Answer 6

If someone feels uncomfortable about the amount of sexual harassment they are receiving they should report it so we can investigate it.

Answer 7

uhmmm hypothetical question...if we hit on people but it doesnt creep them out..is it still an offense?

Answer 8

Well I was once told when I was working at this one place "It isn't sexual harassment if it is wanted" or something like that.
Also this isn't that place. So I would say up to @cshalvey
Anyways if you feel someone is being creepy you should report it.

Answer 9

Until I hear different, I'm going to follow the CoC where it says hitting on people is not allowed.

Answer 10

Also I think you need to be careful on who you call baby or who you call cute. If the person doesn't know you, then don't do it.

Answer 11

I think it is a case thing really. Sometimes calling someone cute may not be flirting but don't you think it is creepy for someone you don't know to call you cute?

Answer 12

or baby?

Answer 13

well if you have a profile pic of a girl from a manga...and someone calls you cute..i will find that creepy lol

Answer 14

I find it weird. And I don't know if weird is creepy sometimes.

Answer 15

lol.

Answer 16

Honestly I like people telling me my avatar is cute even if I don't know them.

Answer 17

hmm yeah it's cute..i think it's the cutest of all the other drawings "someone" made for the profile pics of some openstudy users :)

Answer 18

But I think I would think it is creepy for anyone on this site to call me baby even people who have been here for awhile.

Answer 19

It is just weird to call someone baby or babe for me it is.
Isn't that what bbe means?
babe?

Answer 20

So this is what I think...
If a person finds another person creepy, that other person obviously doesn't know who he can talk to like that without being found creepy so that person needs to be warned about being creepy.

Answer 21

Those are my guns and I'm sticking to them. Peace.

Answer 22

:p

Answer 23

so we should hold tutorials to teach guys how to talk to girls huh...

Answer 24

Well if Colm mentions something different, then I will change what I think. lol

Answer 25

lol. Yes @igbasallote lol

Answer 26

Your position sounds pretty reasonable to me, Myininaya.
Out of principle, I'm opposed to a policy against "Hitting on people," for two reasons. It's a vague thing to define, what is hitting on and what is not. And also the reality is that sometimes, it's going to be wanted, and if two people decide to flirt, why try to stop them or have a rule against it?
The policy does need to account for what happens when a line is crossed though, and a major component of dealing with that is realizing that the line is at different places for different people. If someone feels disrespected, OS needs to do something about it. Perhaps just give people the ability to block other members.

Answer 27

im on a neutral side...but i think on their side...it's not just abt whether one of two find the other creepy...it is also creepy to other users that is if they flirt publicly...

Answer 28

Well I don't know if there is a way for one person to totally block another unless OS gets rid of the chats.

Answer 29

Well, in any case, if someone sends a lot of unwanted messages, they should be reprimanded. I think the point for me though is that a single innocuous message like, "Hey, you're cute," isn't really worth punishing.

Answer 30

oh please no...chat is one of the most relaxing place we can go to :C Iwhen there are no spammers or creepy stalkies)

Answer 31

Well warnings aren't really punishment. They are saying if you continue this then there may be punishment.

Answer 32

maybe the warning can include an advice on how a guy can talk to agirl \m/ hehe

Answer 33

Reasonable =)

Answer 34

I think for this site a good rue to stick by is if you're not allowed to do it in school, its not allowed here.

It may be vague to define, but 99% of the time is pretty obvious if some guy is trying to pick up a girl. I would say it is probably fine for the older users (18+ maybe) BUT there is no way of knowing how old someone is and the limit is 13+, in essence the no hitting policy is to stop people from preying upon the younger community on where (which admittedly, is all of us).

If two people want to flirt they really should do somewhere else, though in saying that if its in messages hidden away somewhere MAYBE its okay, so long as neither of them feel threatened or creeped out :P

-we do have the ability to block other members :)

I agree, If someone feels disrespected we should do something about it, in all cases - if you feel something is wrong - report it.

In saying all that, calling people "cute" and "babe" in chat is not okay, and I find it pretty creepy on this website. Put it this way - if you could say it infront of your grade 7 class, then its okay.

Answer 35

lol. I don't think I could ever call a grade 7 person cute. That would be totally creepy. Nicely put.

Answer 36

lol myin =)))))

Answer 37

Hey cute babies ;)

But, in all seriousness - this is an important issue that is good to bring up here, and debate. In terms of @SmoothMath's points, I do understand where you're coming from, and the fact that, let's be honest, human interaction digital or otherwise is literally impossible to completely control. Which is not our goal, I can assure you.

OpenStudy is an open learning community with people from around the world - the fact that they interact is a goal of the site, not a hindrance. The issues that we at OpenStudy are addressing in our Code of Conduct is the overt 'hitting on' of users by others. The fact that two people like each other and act as such is fine, the idea of a single user remarking to *every* female (he thinks) user he sees that 'you're cute' is not acceptable.

Likewise, the direct messaging activity described above frankly needs to be reported and dealt with. We *do* have users on OpenStudy who will write that statement to *multiple* people at the same time - there is obviously no relationship there, it's purely 'fishing.' I also do not tolerate this kind of behavior. The use-case in my mind in these situations is the user who receives the message may feel Ok with it, not worry about, or just don't care - but we ask them to report it because of the 13 year old user who may also receive it - and won't have a mature or rational response.

Love to hear this kind of debate, because it definitely is a 'gray area' that needs to be brought to the surface.

Answer 38

uhmm hypothetically...let's say i (which im not saying i do) sometimes hit on *multiple* people..but they dont get creeped about it..am i in trouble then? (which im not saying i am)

Answer 39

You can hit on me. I'm always amused by it.

Answer 40

Lol smooth sigh!

If you came on here and messaged any girl you saw for the sake of hitting on them - then yes, it would be bad weather or not the other people are creeped out or not because frankly that's like your treating it like a dating website. As colm said, that is 'fishing' and won't be tolerated.

Answer 41

"smooth sigh" wonder how that goes :P

Answer 42

Hahaha didn't notice that! Oops..

Answer 43

but i have helped out a lot in this site...i didnt just come here to hit on people (which im still not saying i do)...so what's the verdict for my act? (hypothetically of course)

Answer 44

@lgbasallote - it's obviously always going to come down to a case-by-case basis, and it also comes down to the type of 'flirting' of course. It's a difficult area, but in your (hypothetical) situation ;), I would have to say it depends.

Saying someone is 'cute' can be vastly different depending on context, which is why I continue to class it as a case-by-case basis. Additionally, when the interaction is unwarranted and isn't responded to (but still continues), that would also be an issue.

Answer 45

Glad to hear some moderator discussion on this issue. I agree with most everything said, so carry on. Keep up the good work.

Answer 46

well then hypothetically...if ever i will (which im not saying i will) flirt with people ill try to keep it mild then :D

Answer 47

Hehe, cheers @SmoothMath - and FYI, totally okay to not agree. We're here to determine if we're doing the right thing, and if we're not, we're definitely willing to adjust.

Of course, still waiting for an issue where we're wrong of course :P

Answer 48

i think you had a lawyer do the CoC :P im actually thinking colm is one himself..i mean loopholes in the argument immediately?? seriously o.O

Answer 49

It is why they call him Obi-Colm.

Answer 50

And for some reason unlike Obi-wan he quacks.

Answer 51

Hey, Just thinking of it (since you're already here) - what is our policy with people who message random people for help with thier question?

Answer 52

That is annoying.

Answer 53

Its annoying, but I've yet to tell anyone off for it (mind you a do get my share of messages a day), I mean what would you do if someone reported it?

Answer 54

But I just ignore it.

Answer 55

oops I was talking I myself would ignore the message not the report. But yeah I wouldn't know what to do with that report. I would watch to see how colm handled it first.

Answer 56

colm is like the all-knowing wise guy here huh...ad i sometimes randomly say hi to my friends when im bored..hope that's not bad.. byw.. @TranceNova why dont you set your settings to receive messages from fans only so you wont get spammed?

Answer 57

Lol, didn't realise there was that setting :P Nah, I don't mean saying I'm mean when someone says "hey, answer my question *link*". I mean I don't mind it, just not sure how to act if someone did. Eh, guess its not that much of a problem lol

Answer 58

i usually ignore it..bc i dont know the answers anyway..i rarely know the answer when i get pinged >.< darn

Answer 59

Haha me too acutally, they're usually questions I have no understanding of lol

Answer 60

cute babies? woww @ChrisstineToTheRescue you started a fun thread :D lols

nice thread guyss

Answer 61

lol this was random