can someone please help me to proof read my eassy
HOW SHOULD CYBERCRIMINAL BE PUNISED Cyber criminals should be punished in spectacular advance measure in order to disrupted cyber crime for total eradication of the cyber crime. This is needed to ensure the survival in and protection of the innocent citizens. Government should create new laws specifically aimed as punishing cyber criminal why because. This cybercrimes kill more people than armed robbery. This may sound incredible, but it is a gospel truth. Armed robbery kills nation indirectly. Recently a harder was sentenced to 41 month in jail for illegally using hundreds of a company’s of computer as part of a money making bonnet. This kind of havocs committed bring about set back for nation economy. This can result to inflation that is general rise in the prices of goods and services in a particular country, resulting in a falling the value of money. The government should create new law specific for aimed at punishes cybercriminal why? So that when every cyber criminal activity been report will be depth deal with justice. The enactment should part of the government measure for instance in the film industry there is law enforce on piracy. The body concern should promulgate ministry affairs that will put eye on the entire penalty for each cyber crimes committed. The punishment for auto theft should be same for cybercriminals. The operators should emery to make regulatory reform body that all guide work. Another measure government a society that will monitor day activities and also lay constitution to enforce penalties. Every computer operator should have personal job, is another measure. Cyber criminal should be punished in proportion to their damages that they might have cause why, because no offender should go on punished. They should be giving maximum punishment due for their extrovert damage. Proportion measure punishment should be enact on any proof crimes committed. What is responsible for the proportion punishment is as a result of these influence. The first reason is inflation, which as brought falling in economy and prices of good and services have been affected. The second reason recent studies have revealed that the computer specialist mostly committed the crime. The third reason why cyber criminal should be punished in proportion with proof on their damages they caused, is films, It is true that most of the time, children watch film and chant and making use of computer for different kind of things. Many do not believe that this influence young
i cant see any comment
try reducing repeetition by using adjectives.like in addition,moreover,although etc.u get me?
no
Government should create new laws specifically aimed at punishing cyber criminal as cybercrimes kill more people than armed robbery. (as is conjunction(line 4))
pardon me on the first comment i meant conjunctions not adjectives
and u can use computer crime instead of cyber crime,to avoid repetition
make ur intro stand out as a short paragraph on its own
am i making sense?
u can introduce the ways of punishing criminals in an orderly manner .introduce your first way by FIRST the government should......
You should follow a strict outline when writing an essay. FIVE paragraphs. 1. Introduction: You need your thesis here, as well as a mention of the THREE main points you will be covering. 2. Discuss main point 1, in it's entirety. 3. Discuss main point 2, in it's entirety. 4. Discuss main point 3, in it's entirety. 5. Conclusion: Again, your thesis should be here, as well as your three main points. Summarize your paper without adding any NEW information.
have examples to elaborate ur points.like how other countries are dealing with cyber crimes.the laws they've put and how they've enforced them,as well as the positive results they got
u getting me leri?
Cyber criminals should be punished in spectacular advanced measure in order to totally eradicate cyber crime
that was line 1
line 5: This may sound shocking, but it is a gospel truth.
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