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Writing 8 Online
OpenStudy (anonymous):

Do I need to fix this thesis statement. It takes hard work to write a essay.But it’s worth the effort. And if it seems like an insurmountable task, there are some concrete things you can do today that will get you on the road to improvement.

OpenStudy (paxpolaris):

It takes hard work to write AN essay.But IT IS worth...

OpenStudy (anonymous):

How about this? I just cleaned it up a little. It takes time and hard work to write an essay, but the feeling of accomplishment that comes with the finished product is worth it. If it seems like an insurmountable task, know that there are some concrete steps you can take, today, that will put you on the road to improvement.

OpenStudy (anonymous):

thanks guys

OpenStudy (anonymous):

Traditionally you shouldn't begin a sentence with "But". If you had used a comma between "essay" and "but" I think that it would flow more easily. Again, traditionally you shouldn't begin a sentence with "And", although breaking this rule is often used for creative effect. I suggest that the sentence begins "If it" and not, "And if it". Do you need a comma between "task" and "there"? In the final sentence I'd use a comma between "today" and "that".

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