Question

What do you think about my SAT practice Essay?

Answer 1

The topic was:
“There’s no success like failure.”
What is your view on the idea that success can begin with failure? In an essay, support your position using an example (or examples) from literature, the arts, history, current events, politics, science and technology, or from your personal experience or observation.

I would really appreciate it if you give me feedback on my essay. My SAT is tomorrow and I have never procrastinated so much in my life. A scale of 1-6 would be nice, but any feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Throughout history, failure has been proved. a catalyst for success. The failures of some of the greatest minds in history brought new schools of thoughts and an added perseverance to succeed in revolutionary ideas. Look at some of the greatest minds in history. Albert Einstein, who after countless failed attempts, succeeded in creating the incandescent light bulb. Steve Jobs, who after almost bankrupting Apple, brought the company to new heights with revolutionary products. Mark Zuckerburg, who had to deal with numerous investors after being turned down by many who belived Facebook would get nowhere.
In the 19th centurary, Albert Einstein created one of the most revolutionary products that is still around today, the incandescent light bulb. After having to go through numerous failures, he managed to successfully light the bulb. The failures did not stop Einstein, he continued to persevere and created new blueprint to finally create the light bulb we all know of.
Steve Jobs, the ex-CEO of one of the worlds largest and most profitable company, brought Apple from its knees to where it stands today. In the 80’s and 90’s the Apple brand had not caught on. Apple did not have the revolutionary products it desired and its profit margins were low. Steve Jobs was even kicked out of the company. But Steve’s failures gave him a strong sense of determination and brought Apple to outstanding heights.
Mark Zuckerburg, the creator of Facebook, once had a challenge finding the necessary funds to maintain and expand Facebook. But Zuckerburg was determined, he knew his idea was worth millions, potentially billions, and continued his work on Facebook. His work paid off, his company is now worth billions of dollars.
Failure, more often than not, has played a role in the success of some of the greatest marvels of our time. Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerburg all created revolutionary products in the face of tremendous adversity. If life pushes you down, get back up and make sure you don’t get pushed down again.

Answer 2

I personally think your thesis statements aren't strong enough. I think you should analyse three aspects/what you will achieve from failures and include that in each of the paragraph. Then use examples of those people to support your points of view.

"If life pushes you down, get back up and make sure you don’t get pushed down again."
Change this sentence to something more captivating. Hope that helps

Answer 3

Listing the examples and then explaining each one in details doesn't sound very nice to me! ;)
I think it's better not to spend so much effort on writing examples.
Remove the repetition; repetition makes your essay boring. It says support your position using examples; but what is your position? Example is all I can see!
Talk more about the lessons one can learn from failure.
By the way, Einstein did that?? Really?!