Question

Can someone read my essay and tell me if my sentence structure is okay?

Answer 1

sure. just post your essay.

Answer 2

@xAnjanax are you there?

Answer 3

Kk ! Thankyou so much!

Answer 4

so....will the essay be posted?

Answer 5

Ralph is depicted as a carefree, adventurous, excited young boy with strong civilised values and morals. He neglects the need for adult supervision but lives for the present moment, enjoying and absorbing his surroundings. However during the course of the novel Ralph’s character begins to conjure changes due to particular events. Such as the lose of leadership amongst the boys, when he participate in the murderous act of killing Simon
Ralph has a great deal of confidence and demonstrates respectable leadership skills during the beginning of the novel. He has strong beliefs of being elected as chief and believes he is capable of setting a reasonable layout of what is to occur. However he begins to lose hope of his leadership skills once none of the boys obey him. This event occurred when Ralph announced an assembly immediately after they finished eating the Pig. He explained everything that happened wrong and what had to be changed. However the vast majority of the boys didn’t feel the necessity to absorb what Ralph said. After this event Ralph learnt that the boys aren’t willing to listen. He also learnt that he isn’t a good Chief forcing him into losing his confidence and leadership morals. He advances to know that he isn’t capable of handling the crowd. This is a big change in the character because he started of being such a strong, enthusiastic character about being a leader to an unconfident, unenthusiastic leader who had given up.

Answer 6

im not yet done reading but im going to comment this:

He neglects the need for adult supervision but lives for the present moment, enjoying and absorbing his surroundings. However during the course of the novel Ralph’s character begins to conjure changes due to particular events

this should be

He neglects the need for adult supervision, but lives for the present moment; enjoying and absorbing his surroundings. However, during the course of the novel, Ralph’s character begins to conjure changes due to particular events.

Just some minor commas and semicolons corrections

Answer 7

here's another one:

However, during the course of the novel, Ralph’s character begins to conjure changes due to particular events; such as the loss of leadership amongst the boys when he participated in the murderous act of killing Simon

Just some comma, semicolon and grammar corrections

Answer 8

another one:

Ralph has a great deal of confidence, and demonstrates respectable leadership skills during the beginning of the novel. He has strong beliefs of being elected as chief, and believes he is capable of setting a reasonable layout of what is to occur.

Answer 9

Oh okay so it's mainly the commas

Answer 10

yes..mainly

Answer 11

Omg Thankyou :) Is my tense right ?

Answer 12

im getting tired of doing it part by part so im just gonna do it as a whole lol

However, he began to lose hope of his leadership skills the moment none of the boys obeyed him. This event occurred when Ralph announced an assembly immediately after they finished eating the Pig. He explained everything that happened wrong, and what had to be changed. However, the vast majority of the boys didn’t feel the necessity to absorb what Ralph said. After this event, Ralph learnt that the boys aren’t willing to listen. He also learnt that he isn’t a good Chief, forcing him to lose his confidence and leadership morals. He advances to know that he isn’t capable of handling the crowd. This is a big change in the character because he started from a strong, enthusiastic character about being a leader to an unconfident, unenthusiastic leader who had given up.

i have corrected the mistakes i have seen there

one question though.. are "Pig" and "Chief" really supposed to be capitalized? are those proper nouns in the story?

Answer 13

Thanxxx!!! Looks much better now! Ummmm I don't think it's supposed to be but chief is?