Can you guys check my story, I know there is some thing wrong, ( I fix some I instead of small i)

Question

anonymous · Answer

http://kingkos.hubpages.com/hub/The-Turtle-And-The-Monkey Not need to revised but I know there is a little wrong in my story.

anonymous · Answer

I'm looking at it right, there seems to be some errors, of course there is also the way which your character's speak, was it intentional that they speak in that manner.

anonymous · Answer

Yes intentional

anonymous · Answer

I'm fixing it for you give me a sec.

anonymous · Answer

thanks

anonymous · Answer

Turtle is a girl and Monkey is a boy? be

anonymous · Answer

where?

anonymous · Answer

Evermind I've attached the revision.

anonymous · Answer

Was this a translation attempt from a different language?

anonymous · Answer

yes and english is my 2nd language

anonymous · Answer

the part with yellow line in your revision is the one i hard to translate.

anonymous · Answer

Alright well if you need any more help I got you. Don't forget to click the best response button.

anonymous · Answer

wait what is the correct grammar for this As of monkey go happy carrying the leafy part of the tree.<Fix this

anonymous · Answer

i try to say in that part that monker was happy to carry the upper part of tree or where the fruits are put

anonymous · Answer

Turtle returned sad because he was carrying half of the banana roots. Monkey went happily home, carrying the leafy part of the tree.

anonymous · Answer

"I'm sorry, because I'd also like this. What if we divide it. Divide? Alright but to me the upper part. The part with leaves huh? grin monkey said<Fix this sentence. << this part

anonymous · Answer

the turtle said in that part he likes the banana tree also and they planning to divide it. But monkey said the upper part of the banana tree he wants. (devil smilling) = grin monkey said

anonymous · Answer

Turtle said "I like the upper part of banana tree, we should divide it.". With a grid Monkey replied "But I also want the upper part of banana tree"

anonymous · Answer

grin*

anonymous · Answer

with a grin monkey replied? not grid?

anonymous · Answer

yes "grin"

anonymous · Answer

thanks

anonymous · Answer

http://openstudy.com/study#/updates/510a04a0e4b0d9aa3c465ea2