Question

So I'm writing a short story that's due tomorrow, this is what I have so far. Don't just tell me it's good, REALLY tell me what you think.

Answer 1

Shana allowed her feet to mold against the coarse sand, slowly picking up her pace as she went. She stopped when she was at her favorite spot, where she couldn’t go any further due to the fact that the grainy sand turned into thick stones. She sat quietly on the edge of the shore, and let her thoughts wander as the tips of the frothy waves tickled her toes. In the distance she heard the seagulls squawking their morning song. As she dug her toes into the damp sand the painful memories eased their grip on her heart, and it calmed her down.
She sat there watching the foggy gray nothingness slowly turning into a picture perfect yellow-orange sunrise. She decided to get some breakfast to fill her empty stomach. Walking back down the beach toward her favorite restaurant, Waterfront, she hummed quietly. Things were looking up. At least she wasn’t going to have to deal with alcoholic father anymore.
As she reached the dock that led up to the restaurant, she exchanged her sandy feet for a pair of flip-flops. When she opened the front door a bell went off and a friendly waitress greeted her kindly, “Good Morning, welcome to Waterfront, follow me right this way.”
She led her to the back porch and sat her at a table that had a perfect view of the ocean. Her mind began to wade back into her thoughts, but the arrival of her regular server brought her back to the present.
“The usual?” he asked.
“Of course.” Shana replied with a smile on her face.
“Not many people come in this early, so your food be here pretty soon.” Zachery told her then walked away.
Shana fiddled with her thumbs until her bowl of steamy “New England Clam Chowder” arrived.
“With extra oyster crackers, like always.” he smiled.
“You’re the best.” Shana said as she sipped her bowl of warm soup.

Answer 2

@Xtasy0xy

Answer 3

@Luis_Rivera

Answer 4

did u come up with thiz urzelf, or iz an adoptation ?

Answer 5

It's completely original :)

Answer 6

then ill sum it up this way : please let me read the finished story, for im really impressed. the reference to a "watery emotional state ", with words like " waded", "nothingness", ect, it very created indeed.

Answer 7

creative, i ment

Answer 8

was the feedback helpfull ?

Answer 9

So far so good, of course it's difficult to critique an unfinished piece of writing.

Answer 10

let me know when its finished ok ?

Answer 11

OK :)