Question

First original. No judging or hating. Audio will be up by this weekend. (:

Answer 1

When tears are running down my face, my mind's on a race. A race to find out what's wrong... Some of the people are too busy with a bong. They don't see the affect it has on me. Everyday I see, I see a world I don't like. I wonder why? Then start to cry. What do I live for? What do you live for? Why do I care so much? And I swear.. My heart breaks a little more everyday. I don't live for pay. I live for others. I live for my my dreams. Dreams without those special people and support is like a tv without cable. You have the tv or dream but, what is tv or a dream without the show or people to share it with? With me. With you. With family. With friends. With God. God is one of the main reasons my train keeps going. I feel so alone but, he's always with me. Without love. Without a smile. Without my glow. It's disappeared. I will find it and hold onto it because sometimes it's all I have.

Answer 2

This is very well done. Very expressive. Great job. Do you want critiquing or just praise?

Answer 3

Thank you. Very expressive indeed. I would love critiquing but, not brutal or harsh critiques.

Answer 4

Fair enough. I would just say as far as lyrics go, you're getting very specific. If you want it to apply to more people then I would suggest a more broad appeal. I'm no professional though. If this is the feel you're going for, then go for it. Interested to hear the audio.

Answer 5

Thanks! I understand. My first original was personal as most peoples are. I think i'll gradually broaden it.

Answer 6

Sounds good. The timing on this piece might be a little tricky as well. I'm interested to hear what you have.

Answer 7

NICE

Answer 8

Thanks!

Answer 9

amazing, omg, you got a talent of writing + expressing yourself

your word structure is great
rhyming adds a cute sense to it

over all-- thumbs uppp

Answer 10

Than you so much! It's the only way I can get some bad feelings out.. :(

Answer 11

I KNOW RIGHT-- but u do a gooood job hun, keep it up, message me everything you write if u dont mind <3

Answer 12

Thank you so much. I'm working on something now. I'll post it and give you the question link. <3