Question

I need help writing a thesis sentence...first time writing anything! My artifact is an ivory handle from Nimrud from Mesopotamia culture. I submitted: Thesis: Finding an ivory handle of four females, would suggest trade existed during the retricerian Empire. My professor said, "Can you connect trade to culture by something about your artifact? Your thesis sentence doesn’t address culture at all, but only trade."

Answer 1

Finding an ivory handle of four females from the retricerian Empire suggests a culture in which hunting for ivory, skilled craft, and trade existed.

Answer 2

I would also recommend changing "of four females" to "bearing a carving of four females," just for the purpose of clarification.