Question

Could someone please read this text that I wrote and give some comments on how I could improve?

Answer 1

Sure thing. Give me a moment.

Answer 2

I think that the jump from 'going to school' and 'going into the wall' is a little bit abrupt.

Answer 3

ok... thanks. Is that it?

Answer 4

Other than that, I guess it's just stylistic stuff. :)

Answer 5

Thanks!

Answer 6

This may help: http://is.gd/sq9Ydm

Answer 7

I wrote some notes and tracked the changes that I made

Answer 8

You used the incorrect action for the idiom of putting your foot in your mouth.