Question

Can you tell me what this piece means to you? Rate it from a 1 to a 10? Comment on it please?

(below)

Answer 1

Once upon a time there was a girl. Her name was Beauty. Throughout her life she made mistakes, went through hard times, fought with friends who stabbed her in the back, and cried over everything and anything worse than spilt milk. She was tough and brave. She did not cry. She was Japanese. She was black. She was white. She was everything besides all the above. She wore contacts. She wore glasses. She had perfect eyesight. Her eyes were so big. You could barely see her eyes. She could fit inside a hatbox and gaze over skyscrapers. She is you. She is me. She is everyone. There is a girl who’s told to wear different clothes, or to wear less makeup, or to shut her mouth. This girl will not listen. This girl is Beauty. And she is the world.

Answer 2

As far as the theme goes I'd give it a 9. If you were turn it in as an assignment; I don't see you getting much credit for the overuse of periods. You need variation in the length of your sentences as well as the kind of punctuation you use. Sometimes you may need to use a semicolon instead of a comma or period, however otherwise it looks pretty good.