Question

someone read my easay and tell me what i need to fix ............ i apoligize ahead of time

Answer 1

In the modern world the roles between males and females is very different then years ago. Now women can ask guys out and we don’t have to be soft spoken little angels; we can stand up say what we please and no one can say a thing about it. I personally love being a woman of the 21st century. I just read about Confucianism and I’m so happy I wasn’t a teenager in china at that time I would have lost my mind.
I like women like p!nk and Katy Perry and because they aren’t afraid to tell guys who’s boss, p!nk for instance has a wicked buzz cut but to keep it from being to masculine, witch with how beautiful p!nk is I don’t think that’s possible, she dyed it a pale pink and Katy Perry is the type that can walk around in camo and face paint and still look like and angel
Why women should have to have long hair and were skirts to be considered feminine. During World War 2 women were doing jobs that were normally things only men would do. and now women r getting higher and higher on the ladder we are no longer looked at as just some toy to play with we are looked at as something to me challenged which is just what men need
Men on the other hand where I live are all hard workers. They’re country boys but they expect us to bring them sweet iced tea and act like southern bells, but sweet pea I’m no southern bell
Little boys have respect towards women but as soon as they hit puberty most boys lose all respect but I’m lucky enough to have one of the few that’s not a complete douche bag but even he’s has a hint of teenage boy to him but at least he knows ill put him in his place he’s the type of guy that’s a protector he works his butt off and knows that just because he’s a guy doesn’t mean he get everything he wants but he’s also the type of guy that believes the battle field is where a man belongs I disagree a man can have any job a women can and a women can have any job a guy can . but most guys think that a women’s place is in the house or bedroom

Answer 2

@aysian97 @bina_love @BulletWithButterflyWings

Answer 3

In the modern world, the roles between men and females are very different than years ago. Now women can ask guys out and we don’t have to be soft spoken little angels; we can stand up, say what we please, and no one can say a thing about it. I personally love being a woman of the 21st century. I just read about Confucianism, and I’m so happy I wasn’t a teenager in China at that time. I would have lost my mind. I like women like p!nk and Katy Perry , because they aren’t afraid to tell guys who’s boss. P!nk for instance has a wicked buzz cut, but to keep it from being to masculine, which with how beautiful p!nk is I don’t think is possible, she dyed it a pale pink. Katy Perry is the type that can walk around in camo and face paint and still look like and angel. Why do women have to have long hair and were skirts to be considered feminine? During World War 2 women were doing jobs that were normally things only men would do. Though now, women are getting higher and higher on the ladder. We are no longer looked at as just some toy to play with. We are looked at as something to be challenged with. Which is just what men need! Men on the other hand, where I live, are all hard workers. They’re country boys but they expect us to bring them sweet iced tea and act like southern bells. Gosh, I’m no southern bell! Little boys have respect towards women, but as soon as they hit puberty most boys lose all respect. I’m lucky enough to have one of the few that’s not a complete douche bag, but even he’s has a hint of teenage boy. At least he knows I’ll put him in his place. He’s the type of guy that’s a protector. He works his butt off, and knows that just because he’s a guy, doesn’t mean he gets everything he wants. Though, he’s also the type of guy that believes the battle field is where a man belongs. I disagree. A man can have any job a women can, and a woman can have any job a guy can. Most guys, though, think that a women’s place is in the house or bedroom. We need change in this world. Women need to stand up and fight for their freedom. We can’t sit back and let men take over OUR land. We are the strongest whether they want to believe it or not. We are the change. We are WOMEN.

Answer 4

maybe you should click that link...it might help to see what i changed :)

Answer 5

I hope I helped :)

Answer 6

thank you soo much @aysian97

Answer 7

@allopersonwhat what do ya think lissa

Answer 8

your welcome..i hope you didn't mind that I added some stuff at the end :D

Answer 9

no it help alot thank you

Answer 10

In the modern world, the roles between men and females are very different than years ago. Now women can ask men out and we don’t have to be soft spoken angels; we can stand up, say what we please, and no one can say a thing about it. I personally love being a woman of the 21st century. I just read about Confucianism, and I’m so happy I wasn’t a teenager in China at that time. I would have lost my mind. I like women like p!nk and Katy Perry , because they aren’t afraid to tell guys who’s boss. P!nk for instance has a wicked buzz cut, but to keep it from being to masculine, which with how beautiful p!nk is I don’t think is possible, she dyed it a pale pink. Katy Perry is the type that can walk around in camo and face paint and still look like an angel. Why do women have to have long hair and wear skirts to be considered feminine? During World War 2 women were doing jobs that were normally things only men would do. Though now, women are getting higher and higher on the ladder. We are no longer looked at as just some toy to play with. We are looked at as something to be challenged with. Which is exactly what men need! Men on the other hand, where I live, are all hard workers. They’re country boys but they expect us to bring them sweet iced tea and act like southern bells. Gosh, I’m no southern bell! Little boys have respect towards women, but as soon as they hit puberty most boys lose all respect. I’m lucky enough to have one of the few that’s not a complete Sexist boy, but even he has a hint of teenage boy. At least he knows I’ll put him in his place. He’s the type of guy that’s a protector. He works his butt off, and knows that just because he’s a guy, doesn’t mean he gets everything he wants. Though, he’s also the type of guy that believes the battle field is where a man belongs. I disagree. A man can have any job a women can, and a woman can have any job a guy can. Most guys, though, think that a women’s place is in the house, kitchen, or bedroom. We need change in this world. Women need to stand up and fight for their freedom. We can’t sit back and let men take over OUR land. We are the strongest whether they want to believe it or not. We are the change. We are WOMEN.

Answer 11

I changed it a bit I don't think your teacher would appreciate you saying douche bag so I changed it to sexist boy. lolol

Answer 12

lol i don't think she would like that either, lol

Answer 13

but i like the word douche :(

Answer 14

lol your teacher may not though sexist is more appropriate

Answer 15

Where is your thesis statement? Where are your three main ideas? Where are the transition words and examples? What kind of essay is this?

Answer 16

It's persuasive, right?

Answer 17

What grade level is this?

Answer 18

no its a comparison easay that turned nto a rant it grade 10

Answer 19

what are you comparing it too

Answer 20

male vs. female

Answer 21

No wonder. They probably teach different in 10th grade. Well I am in ninth. I guess it is different. This is the outline they taught me this year:

http://learn.flvs.net/webdav/educator_eng1_v8/module02/imagmod02/2_8_1b.jpg

Answer 22

well this is just a rough draft so ill try it with that before i submit the final copy

Answer 23

ya and be careful with the words you use lol your teacher might get offended

Answer 24

yeah...only use appropriate words in it. It might also help if you throw in some "big" words in there, too. Make you sound more professional :P

Answer 25

but I totally understand how this turned into a rant tht happens to me sometimes and im like backspace...............

Answer 26

haha that was funny :)

Answer 27

thx lol

Answer 28

ima gett in trouble with this assinment anyways

Answer 29

why

Answer 30

i think it shows good OPINIONS and there's NOTHING wrong with that :)

Answer 31

becuz i just called one of my male skool mates a "sexist @sswhole"

Answer 32

Well hey ill look at it again in a little bit and go through it changing some uh interes words to a little bit less "interesting words"

Answer 33

@allopersonwhat if u need help, just ask me, too :)

Answer 34

lol we can look at it together and fix it up a bit ill send you a copy once im done making it a bit spiffy

Answer 35

oooottttaaaayyyy :)

Answer 36

first though im a finish up my history test so ya brb

Answer 37

is it really that rude? @allopersonwhat @aysian97

Answer 38

lol no, but your teacher just might be offended by the language used, you know what i mean?

Answer 39

a little theres a few select words whe wont appreciate and shes expecting something professional considering your in highschool n stuff

Answer 40

yeah i agree with @allopersonwhat

Answer 41

good points

Answer 42

yeah ya know what I mean cause like the jump from middle school to highschool oh my they are like bulls

Answer 43

interesting anology but you understand what im getting at

Answer 44

@allopersonwhat what grade are you in?

Answer 45

shes in second grade :)

Answer 46

your joking right? haha

Answer 47

no

Answer 48

shes 7

Answer 49

Oh my goodness, she is young! I feel like your lying, lol

Answer 50

i would never;)

Answer 51

@allopersonwhat

Answer 52

how old is she? haha

Answer 53

shes like 13 i think shes da baby of out group @allopersonwhat

Answer 54

awww that's cute :)
She's very smart for 13, btw

Answer 55

@allopersonwhat

Answer 56

im 14 and im in 9th grade faill u guys fail

Answer 57

haha AWKWARD

Answer 58

nah she just knows how to keep me out of trouble

Answer 59

and thx aysian

Answer 60

your very welcome, @allopersonwhat

Answer 61

ya cause I deal with your little bootie all the time missie

Answer 62

oh spank me!

Answer 63

lol im almost done with social studies im just writeing some short answers n stuff then ima look ur essay mk

Answer 64

kk little girl

Answer 65

@lovatic4life I guess I'm the momma of the group, lol

Answer 66

how old r you

Answer 67

@aysian97

Answer 68

16 :)
almost 17

Answer 69

yup your the momma

Answer 70

haha oooootttttaaaayyyy :P

Answer 71

@allopersonwhat get you snottie bottie back hurr

Answer 72

lol im working im answering a question on harriet tubmans little bootie lolo

Answer 73

-_-

Answer 74

@aysian97 our dads name is lucas

Answer 75

Lol, okay ^_^

Answer 76

hes gay

Answer 77

yeah, it's "stabar", right?

Answer 78

and ima powerpuff girl btw

Answer 79

yup

Answer 80

yeah i know him :)

Answer 81

isnt he awsome

Answer 82

yeah :D

Answer 83

@stabar

Answer 84

i dont htink hes online

Answer 85

yeah, he isn't...but when he comes online....WOAH! lol

Answer 86

hes ganna be so cofused

Answer 87

ikr!

Answer 88

im going to look at your paper now

Answer 89

do you want an introduction and conclusion

Answer 90

sure dont make it blann cuz then ill have to let my spunkyness out on you

Answer 91

im going to make it more professional n stuff and make it appropriate and make you sound smarticle particle

Answer 92

ok

Answer 93

In the modern world, the roles between men and females are very diverse than they used to be. Now women can inquire if a man would like to go on a date. We no longer have to be soft spoken little housewives. We can stand up with poise, and say what we please. People can no longer say a thing about it.
I personally love being a woman of the 21st century. I just read about Confucianism, and I’m so overjoyed that I wasn’t a teenager in China at that time. I would have lost my mind. I like women like p!nk and Katy Perry , because they aren’t apprehensive to tell guys who’s dominate. P!nk for instance has an incredible buzz cut, but to keep it from being to masculine, which with how beautiful p!nk is I don’t think is possible, she dyed it a pale pink. Katy Perry is the type that can walk around in camo and face paint and still look like an angel. Why do women have to have long hair and wear skirts to be considered feminine? During World War II women were doing jobs that were ordinarily things only men would do. However now, women are getting higher and higher on the ladder. We are no longer looked at as just a toy to play with. We are looked at as someone to be challenged by. Which is exactly what men need! Men on the other hand, where I live, are all hard workers. They’re country boys but they expect us to bring them sweet iced tea and act like southern bells. Gosh, I’m no southern bell! Little boys have respect towards women, but as soon as they hit puberty most boys lose all respect. I’m lucky enough to have one of the few that’s not a complete Sexist boy, but even he has a hint of teenage boy. At the very least he knows I’ll put him in his place. He’s the type of guy that’s a protector. He works his butt off, and knows that just because he’s a guy, doesn’t mean he gets everything he wants. Though, he’s also the type of guy that believes the battle field is where a man belongs. I disagree.
A man can have any career a woman can, and a woman can have any career a guy can. Most guys, though, think that a women’s place is in the house, kitchen, or bedroom. We need change in this world. Women need to stand up and fight for their freedom. We can’t sit back and let men take over our lives. We are the strongest whether they want to believe it or not. We are the change. We are WOMEN.

Answer 94

thoughts?