Question

Can someone help me improve this introduction paragraph? It's definitely not the best it could be

Answer 1

There are many things that can be found on the internet, ranging from cat photos, GIFs, and youtube tutorials. An interesting photo, that can be found on the internet is one that has a too true quote by an unknown author that states, “We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.” This quote is referring to the death penalty. When the death penalty (or rather one of the reasons someone might be assigned the death penalty) is put into words, it can cause questions such as, “Is this really the most effective procedure?” Statistically, the death penalty is a faulty method of punishment because it is financially crippling, has been falsely charged to innocent people, and has not been proven to lower crime rate.

Answer 2

I actually am an English and literature major and I see nothing wrong with it :)

Answer 3

Seriously? o:
I just think its narrow enough nor compelling. The last sentence I think is fine, but I'm not sure if its...narrow enough for lack of a better word. The first part I mean

Answer 4

it could use mabey a catchy phrase at the beginning to catch the readers attention

Answer 5

Yea that's what I'm looking for, any suggestions? I want it to have to do with the internet though, I attempted with the first sentence, but that was the rough draft of what I want it to be like

Answer 6

http://25.media.tumblr.com/1a89701b4144e1f6f5065fe386bc62c8/tumblr_msibpbppdm1qkctexo1_500.jpg that's the photo by the way c:

Answer 7

kool how bout putting the "we kill people that kill people cause killing is wrong" at the beginning

Answer 8

Ohh that's much better!

e kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.” This quote by an unknown author is so compelling because it is the truth about the death penalty. How's that?

Answer 9

"We*

Answer 10

that's so good! good luck your paper

Answer 11

Thank you!

Answer 12

welcomes!