Question

Can I have someone review my essay and help me make it more narrow instead of broad?

Answer 1

Technology has made a huge impact on the lives of every person in society. Each piece of the various technology has changed many different aspects of how we do daily tasks. Considering the vast amounts of technology, the one that has impacted me the most would be the computer. It has impacted many different aspects of my personal being, first off it is used consistently as a way to entertain me or have something to do. Entertainment is not the only thing that is impacted towards this piece of technology, this has also been a huge tool for my school work and how I do assignments. Computers will also be a part of my future career so it is already a huge part of my life that is needed on basically a daily basis. There are many uses for entertainment purposes for computers.
As a child, since my family is very technologically oriented, I was always fond of being able to use a computer. One of the main things that I was introduced to was the entertainment aspect of the computer. I found out that I have always liked video games after the discovery of that aspect of computers. This part of computers has made me want to interact and discover the huge selection of different things that would entertain me. I have found out there are more to video games, you can watch shows without the restriction of showing times of the television. I also found you can have music on the computer. With these different things you can do, there is countless hours and time you can put to discovering and playing with different software of the computer. I personally use most of my time into playing video games still as it was one of the first things I was introduced to. Not only that, but it has a great entertaining part of it that keeps me occupied for countless amounts of time. With these entertainment features you can easily have interest with not only you but whoever you are with. You are able to explore different ways to not have boredom. I believe that entertainment is the strongest aspect of computers and affects the many lives of people today. I personally have the entertainment feature as the most important part of the computer system. This aspect of computers allowed me to find what I truly want to do as a career, I have found out what I want to learn in school.
I am currently a computer engineer major and with this I have many different choices I need to make. With computers, I must know an extensive amount of knowledge about different classes. I need to know the basics of school in order to be able to pursue my major that I wish to finish. I need to be able to have good communication skills, mathematical skills, English skills, computer hardware and programming skills. With these in mind, I am able to use the computer in order to have the easier access of resources needed in order to help with any tasks. With English, I can use the computer to easily type out any papers that I need without the hassle of writing them on paper. I have horrible handwriting so, the good thing about this is with the computer I am able to have perfectly neat paper without the need of a pencil and eraser. Another example for the use of computers is; with math, I am able to find websites and videos on a specific type of problem in order to help me better understand what I am doing. The programming aspects of computers is the easiest part of the computer to impact me. I am able to learn anything about programming through the use of computers, with this knowledge I am able to fully understand what key information I should learn and what is needed for the future. With these discoveries I found out that the computer is a great and basically a universal tool that can help with mostly anything. For my career I can see that in the future, I intend to have a full extent of knowledge about computers in my career.
Computers will impact my future because of my chosen career, as an engineer I will be able to create mostly anything my mind can think. The impact that computers have made is that I will be able to pursue the dream job that I want to get. As I have previously stated, I gained my interest in computers when I was younger. While this is in mind, I basically had that interest build up into what I wanted to be when I am able to get a job. Basically this piece of technology has impacted my job influence greatly. As I was in middle school, I started to gain interest in pursuing pharmacy and I didn’t think I wanted to be involved with computers as a career. This phase grew off me as I entered high school and became more involved with computers. I found that computers is the best way to go in choosing a career. This impact has made me find that this is for sure what I want to become.
Technology has advanced over the years and computers have become more and more advanced. The more I see how great this technology is the more I want to learn more about it. That is the positive impact of this technology, the desire to be able to grasp more about a specific the career. The negatives of computers are small, I get sort of preoccupied and distracted by video games or other entertainment parts of computers. Computers have been a huge part of my life, I believe this is what I need to pursue in my life in order to be the person I want to be. Computers have changed the way I think about the world, I can see what the purpose of my life. I can see what I need to accomplish because of this piece of technology, I hope that the computer industry continues to flourish.

Answer 2

Seems fine to me, but it's almost 3 am over here so I may be wrong.
Keep the question open for others to critique! (:

Answer 3

@genson0, it's better if it's like that. Just double check for errors. Broad essays are much liked by teachers/professors, y'know. Just check for errors and stuff and your essay would be fine :)

Answer 4

Professors do not like broad essays, they like them to the point. Is the writer of the essay in high school?

Answer 5

I would message the asker directly as he wrote this @kikibobo