Question

CAN SOMEONE GIVE ME THEIR OVERALL FEEDBACK ON THIS PARAGRAPH?
When people think of CSI, the first thing that comes to mind is investigators in sunglasses and long dark trench coats, dealing with gory cases, some even too revolting for the general human's imagination, all carrying clipboards and pens. However, in the CSI shows, Hollywood glamorizes the profession by adding high-tech labs and beautiful tech ladies, giving it a clean, modern look to the profession.

Answer 1

''giving it a clean, modern look to the profession.''
You should take out ''it'' in that sentence.

Answer 2

CAN YOU GIVE YOUR OVERALL FEEDBACK ON THIS ESSAY?
According to Richard Willings, who is the author of “The CSI Effect”, many crime shows, such as CSI, have had a profound influence on the way the court system handles cases. Scientific evidence is not only well respected throughout court cases, but has become a customary form of evidentiary support compared to previous forms of evidence. CSI shows made high-tech data something that should be expected in a court case. Through its popularity, CSI shows have made forensic studies popular throughout colleges across the world.
Second, since the start of the CSI television shows, the last factor considered has always been science. The CSI is adamant that science is the best way to figure out data and solve the case. But Willings stated that the television programs create illusion that criminal science is fast and infallible and always gets its man. This affects the way lawyers prepare their cases, as well as the expectations that the police and the public place on real crime labs. Real crime scene investigators say the delusive programs give people unrealistic ideas of the real CSI.
When people think of CSI, the first thing that comes to mind is investigators in sunglasses and long dark trench coats, dealing with gory cases, some even too revolting for the general human's imagination, all carrying clipboards and pens. However, in the CSI shows, Hollywood glamorizes the profession by adding high-tech labs and beautiful tech ladies, giving a clean, modern look to the profession.

Answer 3

its good i guess

Answer 4

I guess? Do you think something is wrong with it?

Answer 5

In the first sentence, remove ''who is'', take out the commas around ''such as CSI''
"The CSI is adamant that science is the best way to figure out data and solve the case. But Willings stated that the television programs create illusion that criminal science is fast and infallible and always gets its man." should probably be a single sentence, since the second is a fragment.
It's a well-written essay overall, though. :)

Answer 6

Good Good! c: