Question

Quick Check -

Answer 1

Changed It Up:
Leah grabbed her purse and got on the bus. She sat down and pulled out her phone to text her friend. Looking around, the bus seemed to be empty. She felt a bit worried, as the bus she rode is always full, except for this time. Luckily, she had her phone, and her friends many messages to reply to. Then, out of the blue, a boy came out of nowhere! Leah was shocked! Not only did the boy come out of nowhere, but he sat right by her! Not knowing who the boy was, Leah began to sweat. She turned pale and her legs began to quiver. But it seemed that the boy only wanted to ask her about her phone! Leah was never more thankful in her life. They talked for what seemed like years! About the phone, about school, and about themselves! Shockingly, Leah made a interesting discovery! The boys name was Max, just like her little brothers name! As time passed by, Leah felt more at ease on the bus. She felt happy too, as she made a new friend!
Then, the bus finally arrived at the mall, and Leah got out. She waved goodbye to Max, who waved bye back. As the bus got further and further away, Leah noticed something! She had forgotten her purse!

Answer 2

What's this for? Did you have to write like a short story or something?

Answer 3

It was for this: Use temporal transitions to revise the following paragraph. You may need to create additional details or information. Use proper spelling and grammar.

Leah grabbed her purse and got on the bus. She pulled out her phone to text her friend. Someone on the bus asked her about her phone. The bus arrived at the mall, and Leah got out. She had forgotten her purse!

Answer 4

Does it need any corrections?

Answer 5

IT NEEDS A ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ PEACH

Answer 6

No ma'am, it looks good :3

Answer 7

maybe @***[ISURU]***
can help u