Question

May someone please edit my letter thus far: Dear Prospective Host Teacher and Principal:

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your learning community. I am quite jubilant to have my first PPIE experience with you. Education has interested me for a large portion of my life and I often find myself volunteering with children. Attending the University of Great Falls for the past three years has provided me with joy and assurance I am in the correct career field. In my summers away from school, I enjoy fly fishing and exploring the great outdoors with my father and my dog. I am very blessed to have such a supportive family member in my life and make it a point that he gets the recognition he deserves. The duration of my college studies has been concentrated on communication arts and Elementary Education. Communications continue to amaze me and grasp my interest with all the fun and extensive activities available in the field.
Throughout the past few years of college, I spent much of my time volunteering at Eagle Mount of Great Falls in their equestrian program. Teaching a variety of ages how to ride horses, I feel I learned more about teaching than any textbook may offer. Improvement among the individuals I help amazes me every day and encourages me to keep trying my best even when times are difficult. Seeing people overcome struggles to participate in activities they enjoy is one of the most rewarding feelings.

Answer 1

Its really good! :) But i would put ** By attending the University of Great Falls for the past three years it has provided me with......... and continue. But that's just what i would put. But its really good.

Answer 2

I made very few changes: Dear Prospective Host Teacher and Principal: Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your learning community. I am quite jubilant to have my first PPIE experience with you. Education has interested me for a large portion of my life and I often find myself volunteering with children. Attending the University of Great Falls for the past three years has provided me with joy and assurance that I am in the correct career field. In my summers away from school, I enjoy fly fishing and exploring the great outdoors with my father and my dog. I am very blessed to have such a supportive family member in my life and make it a point that he gets the recognition he deserves. The duration of my college studies has been concentrated on communication arts and Elementary Education. Communications continue to amaze me and grasp my interest with all the fun and extensive activities available in the field. Throughout the past few years of college, I spent much of my time volunteering at Eagle Mount of Great Falls in their equestrian program. Teaching a variety of ages how to ride horses, I feel I learned more about teaching than any textbook may offer. Improvement among the individuals I help amazes me every day and encourages me to keep trying my best even when times are difficult. Seeing people overcome struggles to participate in activities they enjoy is one of the most rewarding feelings.



****I WOULD ALSO ADD ANOTHER "THANK YOU" TOWARDS THE END****