Question

would you read a book if the epilogue started like this? :
I live in a world that barely survived WWIII. We only eat the food that was prepackaged when my grandparents were children. There are rumors that the government is almost out of it. The USA has recovered enough that those people with enough money to can send their children to a school that teaches the art of espionage.
I am one of those children.

what do you think my best friend wants to be a writer and this was my 1st attempt at writing idk if it is any good. if you do like it check this link:
http://www.wattpad.com/35672869-

Answer 1

Thats great!! its really really nice :D!!!

Answer 2

@poopsiedoodle @charlotte123 @undeadknight26

Answer 3

Sounds quite cool since im into books like that...

Answer 4

Sounds really good. Keep going ;)

Answer 5

thank you you should check the link and see how tha 1st chapter goes both of you.

Answer 6

@wolfe8

Answer 7

@wolfe8

Answer 8

Whoah that is a very interesting concept. Sounds great :)

Answer 9

thank you be sure to check the link.

Answer 10

Yea that's where I'm reading it from.

Answer 11

First sentence: I am not going to go into detail\(\Huge\color{red}{\text{, (comma)}}\) but \(\Huge\color{red}{\text{let's}}\) just say\(\Huge\color{red}{\text{, (comma)}}\)... shaving \(\Huge\color{red}{\text{cream,}}\) and a \(\Huge\color{red}{\text{month's}}\) worth of detention for me.

Sorry, but I can't help but look for grammar mistakes in almost everything \(\Huge\color{cyan}{;}\)\(\Huge\text{_}\)\(\Huge\color{cyan}{;}\)

Answer 12

Also, using "Gawd", even in dialogue, is an enormous no-no in writing.

Answer 13

thank you tell me what you think of the end and if you see anything wrong tell me constructive criticism is not frowned on.

Answer 14

fixed it.

Answer 15

\(\Huge\color{red}{\text{people, Jersey, }}\) (use spacing)
\(\Huge\color{red}{\text{I said, (comma)}}\) beginning to crack up
\(\Huge\color{red}{\text{kind of was, (comma) but}}\)

Answer 16

also, \(\Huge\color{red}{\text{bellowed, referring...}}\)

Answer 17

It's not looking too terrible though :p

Answer 18

do you like tha story line?!? this is getting confusing for me!

Answer 19

Also, when writing, make sure to spell out numbers, unless it's a year, or a car model or something. And yes, the story line doesn't seem too bad.

Answer 20

And you have quite a few commas missing :<

Answer 21

thank you much.

Answer 22

:} ( I CANNOT FIND BELLOWED!!!

Answer 23

first paragraph

Answer 24

okay lemme see...

Answer 25

okay fixxed it tym.

Answer 26

;*

Answer 27

;p you are the best!!!

Answer 28

hue

I think I should start a wattpad thingy.

Answer 29

alrite follow me! if you do make one.

Answer 30

Made one ;)

Answer 31

okay what is your name?

Answer 32

nvm i got it!

Answer 33

;*

Answer 34

;*

Answer 35

Comment on how you liked it?!?

Answer 36

gurl pls

Answer 37

ha i was talking to a different person sorry i no u like it :*