Question

Poem: Broken Hearted

Answer 1

Broken Hearted….


To see you leave me for five years
Makes my eyes, rain some tears
You left me alone broken hearted
Soon after three days I departed
I felt as if I was forgotten;
Packed my bag and a carton
Went to the door and saw the loneliness;
Suddenly heard some shouts, and boldness;
I felt as if I would die
Went back to bed and closed my eyes
In my dream I saw a child
Hunting through the forest like a wild
I opened my eyes, sighed and cried
Thanked the God, for it was only a Dream…
Suddenly remembered what happened last night
I thought the world very cruel
Killing people like a fool
I heard a knock on my door;
Rushed to it like a four
Saw that it was you back!
I fainted as if I died….

Answer 2

This is a bit dark, but I like it.

Answer 3

xD
Dark? what do you mean?

Answer 4

O_O

Answer 5

umm its ok but you lose some quality when you tried to rhym examples:
You left me alone broken hearted Soon after three days I departed
This would be better as You left me alone broken hearted three days later i departed

Answer 6

otherwise great job

Answer 7

Thankies! i changed that ^^in my poem note book :)