Question

I need someone to review my essay?! Any help??

Answer 1

I need it looked over... I have to "revise" it... What more should I do??

Answer 2

Im going to read it now.

Answer 3

After read this, i was a little disappointed. There aren't many details, the vocabulary is pretty much the same through it. It's kind of boring.

Answer 4

Well I have to revise it.. Can you maybe tell me what I need to revise and fix.?

Answer 5

Add better vocabulary. More details.

Answer 6

simple stuff

Answer 7

Whats so bad about my vocabulary in it?

Answer 8

Its overused.

Answer 9

Overused as in..? I'm not good at writing essays... I need someone to tell me exactly what I'm 'reusing' in my vocabulary...

Answer 10

You use the same words over again. They get boring.

Answer 11

I understand that i'm using the same words and all but what should I change them to? What words am I reusing?

Answer 12

Im going to reword your essay a little bit, if you dont mind?

Answer 13

Yeah thats fine..

Answer 14

The daughter wants to fly and be super girl because she doesn’t like the way she looks.
This doesnt make sense to me.

Answer 15

This is the story. http://www2.hawaii.edu/~dennisk/2013_spring/100/pdfs/1_cofer_volar.pdf

Answer 16

i changed it to make sense to me... i didnt read the story. but this is what i did. It's not great but i chaged it up a bit.

Answer 17

Its wayy better than mine.. I now know kinda of what I need to start working on in my essays..

Answer 18

Try not to repeat things so much.

Answer 19

Yeah. Thank youu. :)

Answer 20

Youre welcome :)