Question

What do you think of my fan fiction story? :) Comment!
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9713930/1/Broken-Experiments

@SnowCrystal @Ahlpa_Omega32 @bridgetalyssum
@undeadknight26 @sarah1017 @♥Lila♥ @AlexPR787 @BeautifulNightmare @C.A.M @Rea201

Answer 1

looks good madam.

Answer 2

I like it girly..great job :)

Answer 3

nice

Answer 4

I don't have time to read it right now, however, I'll read it later on :D

Answer 5

@♥Lila♥ OK! :)

Answer 6

I love the first three sentences, it really pulls you into the moment. wow. <3

Answer 7

i loved it im writting one now its kool

Answer 8

@bridgetalyssum thanks! My sister was reading over my shoulder when i wrote that. She was like is she gonna die is she gonna die. She can't exactly die considering she's the main character. When I told her that she kicked me out of her room. :) She doesn't like my sarcasm much. :)

Answer 9

lol

Answer 10

Gosh, my sister hates my sarcasm too. but i love to mess with her. haha, do you have any other stories? i just love to read, its all i do.

Answer 11

@bridgetalyssum No, not yet. If you wanna read my twin sister's then just go to my fav. authors and click BeautifulHalfBlood. That's her. :) Her user on here is @WisdomDaughter :)

Answer 12

@bridgetalyssum Did you do it? I can post the links if you need them. :) @WisdomDaughter Why don't you post the links since your on here now. :)

Answer 13

Sorry, i was doing a math question. I havent yet, but im bookmarking the page so i can. Ahh i cant wait.

Answer 14

LOL, Are you on fan fiction?

Answer 15

no im not, when i write its always in notebooks. I should really join one of those sites.

Answer 16

Yeah! I'm on wattpad and fan fiction. You've already seen my user for fan fiction. Mine on wattpad is ArtFreakRebel101

Answer 17

I haven't wrote anything on that though.

Answer 18

Which one should I join?

Answer 19

On fan fiction you can only write stuffy like I did, you know from books and stuff. Please say you know what I'm talking about. I can't really explain it. :) On wattpad you can write your own original work, I just joined.
@Frozengirl123009 , what do you think? :)

Answer 20

@C.A.M What are you writing? :)

Answer 21

I like ill join wattpad, I really love to write and that would be lovely.<3

Answer 22

OK, I haven't really figured it out. I would love if you would join fanfiction. Tell me what you put your user as so that I can follow you! :)

Answer 23

@bridgetalyssum

Answer 24

SORRY IF YOU DIDN'T WANNA BE TAGGED!
@studyislandhelp @secret66 @stabar @Skyz @Squirrels
@agent0smith @Ashleyisakitty @AccessDenied @AkashdeepDeb @AuroraB @Anonymous120

Answer 25

I haven't seen twilight, sorry. but make one about death note or black butler and ill read it :)

Answer 26

Im offended

Answer 27

That's really good!!!!!!!!
(~O~)

Answer 28

@stabar I don't know what either of those are. Sorry. Woulds you still read it? :)
@Squirrels Why are you offended? I'm sorry.

Answer 29

@AuroraB, Thanks!!!

Answer 30

Lol, im just kidding. You did a very good job c: keep up the good work

Answer 31

Thanks! @Squirrels

Answer 32

What are the about........ @stabar

Answer 33

death note is too hard to explain and black butler is about a kid with a deamon for a butler

Answer 34

Wow, well okay. Though why would someone write about wanting a butler? 0_0
@linda3 what do you think.

Answer 35

huh? nevermind

Answer 36

Hi!

Answer 37

I like it a lot. It reminds me of my novel Linda Kyler- tied up in clues. But i'm not one to like fan fiction- but the style of writing is very very intriguing. If I may, I'd like to suggested that you break up the conversations from the narration. -Just like every book you read. Pick up your favorite book and look how they have the conversations. Here's an example- from Glory Days by Cierra Hunter Rose


James opened his front door and walked into his house. He didn’t see his mother which was strange, she usually was in the kitchen cooking or in the den knitting his clothes that he purposely put holes in. He walked down the hall and there he saw his mother in the bathroom, she was dressed in a beautiful gown. She was looking in the mirror as she was fixing her hair. He just watched her for awhile. When she felt satisfied with her hair she got out her lipstick and put it on, which transformed her soft pink lips into a bright popping red.

“Ma what ya doing that for?”
“Oh, James, thank goodness your home! I’m late, I have to meet up with someone. What took you so long to get home darling?”
“Sister Agnes had me stay after school.” James said as if it was normal.
“James, now why on earth would she want you to stay after school?”
“That’s above my pay grade!”
“James!” she said sternly.
“Fine, It’s because she hates me ma!”
She gave him one long stare and then took a deep breath and said,
“I don’t have time for this. James, get in the car, let’s go.”
They both walked out the door and went in the car.

I hope that made sense with knowing how a conversation goes within a book. It helps the reader get less confused. :) I wish you the best of luck and never stop writing! ;-)

Answer 38

@linda3 Yeah, I think I'll try that. I've been working on the second chapter. I'll post the link here when I'm done. :)

Answer 39

@Frozengirl123009 HI!!!

Answer 40

@linn99123

Answer 41

What do you think? :)

Answer 42

ITS AWESOME HUNNY

Answer 43

MAKE MORE??!?!!

Answer 44

OK I'll post the link when I'm done writing the next chapter. I only write on the weekends though, because I have to get caught up. :)

Answer 45

o its okay hey fann me

Answer 46

Fan you where? Fan fiction? What's your user? :)

Answer 47

@linn99123 I like your profile picture! :) Is that you?

Answer 48

haha yea it is

Answer 49

no sweety i mean on here fan meo n here haha

Answer 50

Oh, 0_0 yeah I fanned you! :)

Answer 51

@linn99123

Answer 52

@Mel98 @severus4ever @guillermo2cruzIII @Jadeishere @Awesome781 @Destinymasha @Taylor15 @mikeyymonroe @orion92898 @OrangeMaster @o.Ohuh? @RockStar02 @rose21 @Rinkazuma

Answer 53

I LOVE IT

Answer 54

Yay!!! @Mel98

Answer 55

@superwholockedgirl

Answer 56

@adrynicoleb @Adriana_3001

Answer 57

I have to go now, but I'll come back and read it later. :)

Answer 58

fantastic job keep up the awasome work

Answer 59

i dont know the name yet but its about a cute vampire a day walker and he does not sparkel

Answer 60

@Destinymasha @katlin95 @wolfe8 @orion92898

Answer 61

Not my kind of thing, but you did very well. :)

Answer 62

wohooo u need to finish it

Answer 63

Wow itzzzz itzzz aweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeasssssoooommmeeeeeee :D

Answer 64

I want to read more of it. It's Sublime!!!!!!!!!! <333

Answer 65

You gotta watch Black Butler before judging it because it is simply amazing!
@CrazyCountryGirl

Answer 66

I UPDATED IT!!!! CHECK IT OUT!!!!!