Question

Can someone please look over/ revise my essay *work in progress* Thanks :)

Answer 1

First sentence is weak. The rest of the first paragraph is a run on. No punctuation or any clues for the reader where an idea might start or end.
Here's your ideas:
Shakespeare’s Macbeth answers the question: What could make a loyal patriotic general turn traitor against the very state he spent a lifetime defending?
Macbeth lusted to be king of Scotland. His lust was strong enough to cause him to plot to kill Duncan, the king had fought for.

You need to decide what you want to say. And then write it clearly.
You've got brainstorming ideas so far. Keep sentences short. Put one idea in each. When you get all your ideas down on paper, then check to see that the are grouped logically into paragraphs.
When you rewrite, throw out anything that is not needed. Add details only if they help clarify.
Then proof for spelling and typos/

Answer 2

okay ill tell you wht needs to be done monday