Question

Not sure if anyone would want to... but can you review my paragraph so far? Its for a story

Answer 1

Once upon a time, there was a man named John. John wasn't one of the... more popular people. He dreamed of ruling the world, when all he got was ridicule in the world. He dreamed of controlling the world, so he would never get ridiculed again! One day John's life changed forever. He woke up washed upon an unknown shore. Like any other person would do, he went up to a person and asked "Where am I?". Only to get a response beyond his amasement. He said he was in Bay City, not more than that but he said "Wow! I get to speak to the ruler of the world!" . John froze, almost like he was frozen in time. He said "I-I am?" The other man replied "Of course you are! My name is Carter, nice to meet you sir!". John replied to carter in a shocked voice "So your telling me,Carter.... I can control the world....and not get ridiculed?" Carter replied "Oh why would we ever ridicule you, sir?". John was frozen in time again, he didn't know what to do. Carter then replied "How is this new to you, sir? Are you experiencing amnesia?". John replied "No... no I just- So I can control the world? Like make anything, create anything into existence?". Carter replied "Why.... Yes sir, why wouldn't you be able to be? You are the ruler of the world".

Answer 2

It sounds like a start of something beautiful. Are you asking if there is any grammar, spelling errors?

Answer 3

Sounds good. If you have no limit, then I'd drag it out a little bit and add some more detail, it seems a little rushed. But if it can only be so long, then that's fine. Looks great so far!