Question

how can I make this better...
The old mansion has a spooky atmosphere. Weeping willows bent by the wind obscured the front door in a cloud of inky blackness. The copper doorhandle was as cold as ice and it felt like my hand was frozen to it. As I turned the doorhandle a strong gust of wind tore the door from my grasp and pushed it open a single sheet of paper floated lazily to the floor like an autumn leaf from a tree. Moonlight flooded the room casting long shadows that stretched across the length of it. The light revealed old ripped curtains hanging over broken windows. Shards of glass glittered like gems in the milky white light. Old photo frames were tilted on weird angles on the dirty old wallpaper. An old sofa and an armchair sat on one side of the room collecting dust. Cobwebs hung from the corners of the ceiling like shredded cotton fabric. A small black cat with striking yellow eyes stared at me from the windowsill. The cat licked its paw and drew it over its ear before jumping off the window and disappearing from sight leaving me all alone in the spooky mansion.

Answer 1

Maybe combining sentences, for example doing something like; "Moonlight flooded the room casting long shadows that stretched across the length of it, and the light also revealed old ripped curtains hanging over broken windows." The way it is written now seems very choppy with all the different sentences.

Answer 2

Your first line is in the present tense, while everything else is past tense. Change the first line to past tense for consistency. Also, consider making some of your phrases more active. Instead of "The copper doorhandle was as cold as ice and it felt like my hand was frozen to it," you could try something like "My hand nearly froze to the ice-cold copper door handle as I turned it."

Answer 3

I didn't think of the first sentence, nice catch.

Answer 4

thank's both of you. All of your suggestions really helped.

Answer 5

No problem :)