Question

I need help with my story i found how im gonna end it but i dont know how to get it there. Comment for what i have so far.

Answer 1

What do you have so far?

Answer 2

I messaged you it

Answer 3

Yup, I'm reading it right now :)

Answer 4

ok

Answer 5

This isn't the full chapter right?

Answer 6

Its all I got so far, imam try to get Kayl (reds brother) to become the leader of the forbidden (which will be a secret society in the school) with a shape shifter (the shapeshifter mainly turns into birds)

Answer 7

but I got point a but idk how to get from there to point b

Answer 8

Alright, it just seemed a bit too short and rushed that I figured it was a sort of outline on how you would right the first chapter. In the chapter itself, you should be able to write descriptions on how they look, the way the classroom is, how they interact, their expressions, and details into their feelings. It's important the reader connects with at least one character, so I suggest making a character sheet on what type of person each person is, just to make sure they are well-rounded

Answer 9

well I just do the story and edit as it goes along

Answer 10

What exactly do you need help on?

Answer 11

getting it to the peace where kayl becomes the leader of the forbidden

Answer 12

Wait, aren't they supposed to defeat the Forbidden?

Answer 13

yea but its like a twist in the story

Answer 14

Red is to be the man who leads the lykens into the fight with Princess Brittany

Answer 15

but kayl was ither gonna die off or become the bad guy

Answer 16

Is it because of jealousy? Since Red got the girl or is assured in his position as king?

Answer 17

the treatment that's given to red from their grandfather and also because he was assured position as Pack Leader

Answer 18

Oh, alright. So, in my opinion, it may be good to have the chapter showing their life in both sides, like the way they are at home and the way they are at school. And when you say that the princess isn't allowed to meet him anymore, it should be later, not right off the bat. You could have a short side part that shows her home life as well

Answer 19

You may also want to have a couple of characters from Forbidden make their appearance as well, since it shows the other side and it can later be used to bring Kayl in to that idea, as the readers will already be familiar with the 'other side'.

Answer 20

well I already got the Fire and Ice beings being in the forbidden cuz they are the ones that want war that's why they don't like Red and Kayl.

Answer 21

So the way Kayl becomes their leader is? Also, shouldn't the Ice and Fire beings have an internal conflict as well, since they're such opposites?

Answer 22

well they elementals so its quite obvious and that's the other thing I don't know how to get Kayl to become the Leader of the forbidden

im thinking ither risk his life and do a dangerous stunt that none would do or kill the last Forbidden leader and burn the heart

Answer 23

Well, they both sound like great ways, if it were:
- the first one: Kayl could coincidentally find one of the important beings (like a prince) being harmed and rescue him
- the second one: can be so angry one day after seeing the difference between how he and Red are treated that he goes out to the Forbidden headquarters in order to kill the leader and make his grandpa proud
- a combination: Kayl saves the prince, finds out who he is, makes him take him to their leader and kills them both.

Or whatever you want :)

Answer 24

well I have an idea now and its like an excerpt of your idea, but his challenge was to go and kidnap the prince of some palace and bring him and give him to the Forbidden's leader and then there was a fight like the only way to become the leader was to kill the prince and the last leader

Answer 25

hows that?

Answer 26

I don't think it would do well to have him as the cliche bad guy. Give him sufficient reason to do the things he did

Answer 27

so have him like:
one of the class mates gets him mad as he gets picked on by this student and he follows the kid deep into the forest and kills him for he was angry and tears his heart out and brings it to the school and hides it and he finds a note on his desk and it says go to the abandon warehouse with the kills heart if he wants revenge on his brother

Answer 28

But who would have sent him the note? Some random guy related to the king of forbidden who wants revenge/to be the next king, only it doesn't go as he planned and Kayl kills him as well?

Answer 29

well that's the mystery part

Answer 30

Ah... I see