Can you guys rephrase my thesis statement? I think it's very long. Also, is my thesis makes sense or not?

Hamlet is a tragic hero because he qualifies having all the qualities of a tragic hero such as his ability to accomplish his mission in return for his own life, having a thoughtful mind as his strength and also his weakness, and finally having the love and support of the people, which is typical for the people from noble families.

Question

Can you guys rephrase my thesis statement? I think it's very long. Also, is my thesis makes sense or not?

Hamlet is a tragic hero because he qualifies having all the qualities of a tragic hero such as his ability to accomplish his mission in return for his own life, having a thoughtful mind as his strength and also his weakness, and finally having  the love and support of the people, which is typical for the people from noble families.

larseighner · Answer

"because he qualifies having all the qualities of a tragic hero"

This useless verbiage.  All it says is "he is a hero because he is a hero." Try leaving it out and recasting the sentence.

anonymous · Answer

alright thanks