Question

how do I fix my essay?

Answer 1

I can't open it because I have to download office but otherwise I would've helped, sorry

Answer 2

I can copy and paste?

Answer 3

@Brilliance

Answer 4

sure

Answer 5

Brandie Hagen
Final Draft
To become successful in any performing arts career, I would go to school at Roosevelt University. There are six colleges for Roosevelt University. But, for performing arts you would go to Chicago College of Performing Arts. At the university, you can learn just about anything. From performing arts to teaching, they have a lot to choose from. For me, it would be performing arts. At Roosevelt University you would get all the help you need. Roosevelt University is in Chicago, Illinois and does have some apartments close so if you don’t want to live on campus you’re covered. To become a performing art major, you have to have 123 hour semesters that would be 0.01403124 years. You also need a non-refundable application fee of $25 required at the time you submit your application and a non-refundable application fee of $75 required at the time you submit your supplemental application on Decision Desk. The cost of admission is $25 to $75. For readmission you need to submit a readmission application to the office of admission. For an undergraduate you must have twelve to eighteen credits per semester.

The average salary varies from freshman to senior. For freshmen it’s three thousand and five hundred dollars, for sophomores it’s four thousand and five hundred dollars, and for juniors and seniors it’s five thousand and five hundred dollars. For graduate-level applicants it’s zero and for paralegal students it’s five thousand and five hundred dollars. For undergraduate you can receive a bachelor’s degree in music and theatre majors and you can attend the campus in Chicago, Schaumburg, or online if you don’t have a permanent resident card. For graduates it’s the same and for doctoral you can attend Chicago or Schaumburg. There are six different language classes you must take. Two years of French, Germen, and Italian. Four years of musicianship, four language skills for singers, and two fundamentals of acting and eight applied majors. There are forty-one required courses you must take.

The financial assistance you can receive varies also. You could get grants, like federal grants, state grants, or institutional grants. You could receive a scholarship, for a reward of the prior academic achievements and/or talents. Loans are an affordable educational financing option for many students and families. Student employment opportunities are available only during the fall and spring semesters. You may earn funds to assist with the educational expenses while working. To receive a financial aid you must complete an application for federal student aid and then follow up with any additional documentation that may be required to determine your eligibility.

There are seven sports to choose from for a girl and seven for a boy. The first one for both is basketball, then its cross country, then soccer, then tennis, and last track. The girls also get volleyball and softball while the boys get baseball and golf. The one club sport they have is the cheer and dance team, but the club sport cheers at games and cheers for the other students.

Answer 6

I think its good, try to upgrade some words to higher vocab, and indent the beginning of your paragraphs, also you culd start one paragraph of with initially, in addition, to begin with, Add hooks and justifiers

Answer 7

ok ill reword some stuff. would you mind reading it again when im done?

Answer 8

sure just tag me when your done

Answer 9

thanks

Answer 10

try to vary your sentence structure a bit. also, some of your sentences are short and dull, like "there are six colleges for roosevelt university." try to change it up a bit and make it a bit more interesting. another suggestion is try not to use the same word repeatedly, like in the first two sentences you have already said roosevelt university twice. you could say this school, this institution, etc and even add some adjectives to make it interesting :)