Question

Can someone please help me revise my essay its a review on the iphone 5s

Answer 1

@Compassionate can you help me ?

Answer 2

Capitalization, and punctuation needs to be added.

Answer 3

Capitalize I's, and whatever else needs to be capitalized.

Answer 4

Use commas as-well.

Answer 5

Thank you can you help edit on the document ?

Answer 6

Let me continue on reading.

Answer 7

i'm having a hard time with seeing all of them

Answer 8

Let me see if I can. What grade are you in?

Answer 9

12th

Answer 10

but its a 1001 class

Answer 11

Alright! 1001 class? I'm unsure what that is. Is that in America? I'll re-read, and see what I can do.

Answer 12

Lol yeah a 1001 class is a college freshman english class

Answer 13

thank you!

Answer 14

Here, I have part of it corrected.

Answer 15

Almost all.

Answer 16

It’s been a little over a year now that Apple's iPhone 5s product has been on the market, so I thought I would take a look at it with a fresh pair of eyes to see if it’s really worth your hard earned cash. Since you will most likely be spending a good amount of your time with your phone, I think it’s important we take a look at battery life and design first. The iPhone 5s is 4.87 inches in height, 2.31 inches in width and weighs just about 3.95 ounces. If you put this in perspective the iPhone 4s had a height of 4.5 Inches and width of 2.31 inches and also weighed a little bit over 4.9 ounces. As you may see the iPhone has gone on a diet and lost about 1 and half ounces and leaned up a bit from a height of 4.5 inches to 4.87 inches. This gives the phone a more “sturdy” feeling to it, but it also gives the iPhone some more screen real estate but not so much that where fans of the iPhone 4s design will feel overwhelmed. I believe that it's the right amount of change added. The back plate of the iPhone 5s is made out a beautiful high grade anodized aluminum body which compliments the iPhone perfectly. Now we will talk more about the durability of the aluminum as the review goes on, but simply from a touch and feel perspective the phone feels amazing. From the way you can take it in and out of the tightest pair of paints with ease or the cold feeling of the aluminum brushing against your finger tips as you reach to snooze your phone from your dresser in the early hour of the morning something is just right about this design!

I wish the same could be said about the battery life don’t get me wrong the battery life on the iPhone 5s is nowhere near horrible but it's nothing to write home to mom and dad about either. I was expecting more from Apple this time around considering it’s sleek tall design and more efficient A7 processor. For example the average battery life of an iPhone 5s is 10 hours talk time compared to the industry average of 15 hours talk time. If you want to compare the stand by times the iPhone will last you about 10 days compared to the industry average 23. My advice you is this if you only rarely use your calls and texts you should be fine but if you are a total media hog such as myself I would bring an extra lighting cable and portable charger with you on the next road trip.

Speaking of things you should pick up for your new iPhone make a sure a good screen protector and case are on the list because you will be needing them! Welcome to the durability section of our review and let me just say it may be by fair the most disappointing section of this review. Apple has done very little to fix their transited reputation when it comes to iPhones not being able to handle damage and abuse better than their counterparts. I have seen countless iPhones fall victim to cracked or “spider webbed” screens; even water damage is a common issue. Heck, there are now even stores opened soupy for the purpose of repairing broken iPhones it’s that common of a problem. Apple claims that the iPhone 5s screen is plenty strong enough with its gorilla glass 3 patented design supposedly one of the strongest kinds of glass you can find for any smart phone currently on the market. But I don’t think the claims apply to a real world seating while sure, yes they passed all of Apple's series of factory testing. They still seem to fail to one of the most common and obvious test the concrete / pavement test. I’m not even kidding one bad grab of your phone out of your pocket and it’s almost a guaranteed lights out. I’m not expecting Apple to make an end all indestructible iPhone, I just think they should tone down some of their claims a bit. It can be very misleading to the uninformed buyer.

Answer 17

After the last paragraph, and you start a new one you need to indent the paragraph with the sentence "The next and final set of criteria I will cover will be on camera quality, interface and value. "

Answer 18

Pretty much all you really need to focus on is adding periods, and commas.

Answer 19

But, not too many. You need to just know where to place them correctly in sentences. Don't make a sentence too long, or too short. Capitalize where you need to correctly.

Answer 20

Also, I have seen that you've used there instead of their. There is used for like "There are Popsicles in the fridge" where as Their is used as "They have their own Popsicles at home."

Answer 21

This may help you with the their, there and they're problem. http://grammar.yourdictionary.com/grammar-rules-and-tips/rules-for-there-and-their.html

Answer 22

If you need anymore help let me know. I'm going to work on the last question of my english worksheet. I'm in 9th grade, and 12th grade seems much easier.

Answer 23

As for as the rest of your essay goes... I did edit it. That is why I had pasted it in chat. All of it is corrected to how it should be, so focus on what I said above, and the last paragraph or two. Remember to indent, and use punctuation.

Answer 24

Thanks a ton bro! yeah this was my by far one of out easiest papers I really appreciate the help is there any chance you can send the document you made the changes on ?

Answer 25

http://www.paperrater.com/ this is also a good website to use

Answer 26

never mind bro i found a way to copy it!

Answer 27

Yeah, thankgod. I couldn't find a way to correctly send it without having docx. You know where to indent right?

Answer 28

At the first paragraph ?

Answer 29

also i'm trying to fan you but its not working lol

Answer 30

First, and fourth paragraph.

Answer 31

It's fine, I really don't help on here. But, I just wanted to try it because I knew you needed help.

Answer 32

The fourth paragraph starts with the sentence "The next and final set of criteria i will cover will be on camera quality, interface and value." if you didn't already know lol.

Answer 33

Ah yeah i had a problem with the spacing lol

Answer 34

Oh, okay. I understand.

Answer 35

Am I allowed to go, or do you still need me?

Answer 36

Yeah your good man thanks for all of your help!

Answer 37

No problem!

Answer 38

Good luck on all of your work

Answer 39

Thankyou! I am almost done, i'm pretty tired. It's 1:37 am here haha.