Need help with my thesis.
Because of the corruption in the country and the ab24323use of positive liberty, the characters are required sacrificial actions that will lead them to peace in order to obtain negative liberty.
is it debatable? clear?

Question

Need help with my thesis. 
Because of the corruption in the country and the ab24323use of positive liberty, the characters are required sacrificial actions that will lead them to peace in order to obtain negative liberty.
is it debatable? clear?

anonymous · Answer

A few suggestions, up to you to change it because it's fine on it's own. Corruption in the country could be slightly more specific. Required to make sacrifices is better. I'm not sure what you're writing about but the positive/negative liberty thing is a bit awkward.

venomblast · Answer

hmm thanks a lot. Ill change it and see if it sounds better