Question

So just looking for some feed back on a song I've been working on Everyone's welcome to comment n such , all criticism is welcome!

Answer 1

Daddy gets home and he's greeted by the dog
Mommy's in the kitchen making dinner for them all
The kids are watching T.V all the Friday night cartoons
When suddenly they are interrupted by the new saying
[chorus]
There's war in the east and there's plague in the west
We just sit in our blue jeans and hide behind the picket fence
The parents come out and cover our eyes if only to keep us living in their 1950's paradise

Get dressed for church and walk in a straight line
Even out the door their hands are covering our eyes
Wind of rebellion greeted by a family trip like to
Colorado Springs or the principal’s office
Creativity forbidden
Duct tape on our lips
How dare we speak out that sh*t isn’t in the script
She says we gotta play by the rules cuz
[chorus]
there's war in the east and there's plague in the west
we just sit in our blue jeans and hide behind the picket fence
The parents come out and cover our eyes if only to keep us living in their 1950's paradise

They say our eyes are the truth ‘
But little do we know that everything we see
Is all just a show
And that’s all I have so far xD

Answer 2

WOW, That's really good. Expresses a lot of society's conservative statuses.

Answer 3

i totaly agre with summer you could have a good song on ya hands i love writting soingz my self i have written many but not like yours woow

Answer 4

thank you so much! It had both personal experiences and just how society works to it! means a lot thank you!! @summerforever21

Answer 5

thanks @Tazmaniadevil

Answer 6

yw

Answer 7

Anytime, I write lyrics too but nothing really like that. Mine are just for fun but you might actually have something here.

Answer 8

it's what I want to do with my life. I've been writing since I was little I write for a couple of local groups and do a few gigs here and there, but I'm thinking about recording this one with my mate

Answer 9

http://openstudy.com/users/tazmaniadevil#/updates/547f1c7ee4b0190b07997576

Answer 10

I'd love to see some of your stuff sometime! @summerforever21

Answer 11

http://openstudy.com/users/tazmaniadevil#/updates/543eb51fe4b0bad129467d36 these are my songz so far

Answer 12

Okay I got too find my book. I think I could whip something up though just for you too check out.

Answer 13

ur songs really good my british buddy haha

Answer 14

Haha thanks

Answer 15

AMAZING!

Answer 16

thank you so much! @kscbs1