Question

Poem: "The Tricksters"

Answer 1

This was an assignment for English class, but I thought that I would post it here as well so that I could get some feedback.

The assignment was to write a conceit, comparing two totally unrelated things in the form of a poem. To clarify before hand, I chose a spider's web and eyes.

Answer 2

"The Tricksters"

It was all over in a moment,
Everything you once hoped,
The second you saw the thing
That the glistening mirage evoked.

Deep pools of green, chocolate, blue,
Each one a beautiful escape,
Each one designed as a cunning ruse,
The eyes meant to seal you in your fate.

Dew drops perfectly reflecting,
The geometric spiral awaits
Luring the innocent inside,
Then the guardian slams the gates.

The spider’s web and the eyes,
You go in when the trap is concealed.
Once the trap is sprung, the door is closed
You gladly stay, the danger revealed.

So, you say “Farewell to life,
To what I have known.
I will be gone
But my horizons have grown.”

Answer 3

im trying really hard to give you a critic because personally i love critics because all they do is make you better. but i love your poem nice job

Answer 4

Thank you :)

Answer 5

no problem

Answer 6

okay i just read overit again and im a little more awake now lol. The only thing i found was the word thing. I mean you can keep it but especially if its for school thing isnt a strong word try something a little more visual

Answer 7

there i found something that could actually help u lol

Answer 8

that poem. it reminded me so much of the trilogy Uglies, I LOVE IT!!! :)

Answer 9

i agree cupcakerain (is it bad that i read those??? lol)

Answer 10

I LOVE DAT POEM