The following sentence has been revised in several ways. Which of the revisions does not improve the awkward or illogical construction?
Harmony is when two or more tones fit together in a pleasing combination of sounds.

When two or more tones fit together in a pleasing combination of sounds, harmony occurs.

The definition of harmony is when two or more tones fit together in a pleasing combination of sounds.

Question

The following sentence has been revised in several ways. Which of the revisions does not improve the awkward or illogical construction?
Harmony is when two or more tones fit together in a pleasing combination of sounds.


When two or more tones fit together in a pleasing combination of sounds, harmony occurs.

The definition of harmony is when two or more tones fit together in a pleasing combination of sounds.

geneticrockhopper247 · Answer

They actually both sound a good bit better. Um...I'd say that it might be the second one, but I don't know for sure...

anonymous · Answer

k thnx