Question

here is my song I need help finishing it tho I I will except all offers

Answer 1

I'm assuming Country?

Answer 2

no I making it R&B

Answer 3

What's the tempo?

Answer 4

starts of slow then I pick up the beat wit a rap and go on from their

Answer 5

thats cool....its kinda hard to help write a song when your not picturing the same music...i was pictuing like a love story gone wrong....soft and steady with a few breaks in tempo

Answer 6

I have to agree with demonchild99, it's kinda hard to help if we're not imagining the same music. I'm a little bias towards guitar and drums. I'm also a little bit pro-structure, preferring repetitive and predictable patterns in lyrics. Nevertheless, it's in my opinion that the rhythm kinda broke on the 6th line and the flow is somewhat disrupted on the later parts. Generally speaking, a little trimming down on words could help.

Answer 7

ok..i was thinking that but i wasnt sure how to put it into words....cuz i was kinda singing it...like in my tune...but i noticed that it was a little off.....

Answer 8

I personally would point out that the 6th line "... to that" broke the establish rhythm of the first few lines. Again, it's just an opinion.

Answer 9

some one gave me tat line and put it in their I couldn't figure it out either I think m going to take that one out and replace that with something else

Answer 10

I would fix the fourth line if I were you. "Me and him" isn't proper English.

Answer 11

well sometimes songs dont have to have proper english...as long as you know what the message is..i think it is cute and kinda gives it a kiddish feel...but like we said earlier it has to do with tha music tunes...with a kiddish thing you wouldnt want to put it in R&B i would fix that...every time i look at the song i keep thinking of different background music....

Answer 12

Grammar police, sorry. I'm not the only one, though.

Answer 13

lol...