Question

hay guys made this poem up for my 8th grade project tell me if its good or if I need to fix something thanks

Answer 1

okay lets see it

Answer 2

What did the Jews do wrong?
This lasted far too long.
Did this really have to be their fate?
They were kept inside a wired gate.
They were forced to wear a star,
And they weren’t allowed to ride in a car.
They were forced away from their family with a gun.
They were treated so hatefully and this is no pun.
While the Jews were sent to concentration camps,
The Germans were probably feeling like champs.
The Germans were so firm,
They even made the Jews walk around with burns.
They took away all their clothes.
During the night time they practically froze.
While everyone was starving,
Some were even departing.
Very few escaped into the wilderness,
And most of them died from an illness.
The woman weren’t allowed to have hair.
Some couldn’t even bare.
They were working from morning to night,
And if one found food they all had to fight.
Around the end people were being put in gas tanks,
Although that was not the case for Anne Frank.
Help finally arrived.
The thing that people most thrived.
Sadly only about three million were left.
Everybody was so depressed.

Answer 3

wow this is amazing i wouldn't change anything about it

Answer 4

wat about the word bare is that how u spell it or is it bear n thx

Answer 5

okay this is amazing but i have one issue and i dont know if this is something u got wrong or if u didnt realize this is how it sounds but when i read it u make it sound like anne frank survived... ?

Answer 6

anyways anne frank never made it out she was killed something crazy like a week before it all ended (dont know exactly when but something crazy like that) the only frank to survive was Otto Frank, Annes father

Answer 7

it sound like there was hope for her and her family but i see where she was coming from hiding was a thing to do but lead them to their death because the person who knew hey were there the theift told the police and they were found and slit up and it gave them a sense of life knowing they were in hiding for so long without being caught so it gave them hope before the end of their time @ispike @kittycat123

Answer 8

well @ispike anne frank died from an illness not from a gas tank but I couldn't find another rhyme that went with the poem that y I sed that was not the case 4 her

Answer 9

Actually they dont know exactly who told because theres two other people or something like that. There was a family friend who is most likly to have turned them in because he was kind of a snake. Also interesting thing is that Anne said that she like the consentration camp because of the fresh air and stuff.

And okay but still u can see where the confusion is because when u say she was not the case it sounds like she survived and also before that u do mention illness so that would be part of it not just gas. I think its an amazing poem i really do but i also think u may want to find a different thing to rhyme with

Answer 10

@chainedecho @Librarian @paki @confluxepic @Tazmaniadevil @southmini

Answer 11

Its pretty ^_^

Answer 12

superb

Answer 13

I think you should add ms. in front of anne frank also I think you should end the poem different , something with more emphasis giving the poem a stronger vibe ^.^ other than that you have a great rhyme scheme going on there

Answer 14

I love it keep doing great work

Answer 15

thx every1

Answer 16

It's so nice to see someone write about something that DOES NOT HAVE TO DO WITH A GF OR BF !!! lol I really love your poem and like how you're bringing awareness to important things in this world us YOUTHS live on. Us YOUTHS from OpenStudy started a Blog where Fellow Youths post MEANINGFUL Lyrics, Poems, and Opinions, just like yours :)
We'd LOVE to have your poem included in our MEANINGFUL MUSIC WORLD TAKEOVER !!!

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Answer 17

@Medal