Question

Hey I wrote a poem. Please give feedback!

Answer 1

I will post it in a second

Answer 2

Loudoun Clear

From when I first saw you, I fell in love
But I thought I could never have you.
I was soon surprised,
By being told I would ride you in my riding lesson!
It was so great
And I just loved you more
I rode you all the time.
You became mine, and I was so happy
I did many things with you.
We went on trail rides,
we had riding lessons.
I jumped the wall and the brush jump with you.
I jumped my highest with you.
We had so much fun.
You started to look over the pasture gate when I was at the barn,
or looking out from your stall.
Your ears would go forward when I called your name.
Then, we did our first big show.
You were terrified, but I was patient.
We did so well.
I love you so much LC.
But then, yesterday, you left.
You went to Florida,
Where I will never see you again.
I hadn't seen you for a few days, or ridden sine the horse show.
But when I was told you were leaving I was so upset I didn't want to see you.
I knew it would be hard
Seeing your face before you left.
But I feel so bad now.
Were you looking for me when the trailer came?
were you waiting for me?
I'm so sorry LC but I will always love you
and never for get you.

Answer 3

Not very poemish, not like I usually do

Answer 4

But my pony just got moved to Florida so I will never see him again. (he's my profile picture). I also wanted to write a poem, but I wasn't sure what about. So I wrote about him leaving. And I know it's not like I usually write, and it's not really a poem, but please give feedback

Answer 5

His name is show name is Loudoun Clear and barn name LC

Answer 6

some typos: *since and *forget

Answer 7

I will write another poem, and think it through instead of in five seconds writing about what I'm so upset over

Answer 8

I will post it when I'm finished it will be a much better poem, a more powerful poem with more meaning(to you guys this is pretty meaningful to me already)

Answer 9

@MakaylaTracy @demonchild99

Answer 10

lol..i loved it...u should check my poem out....its not really poemic..but it works

Answer 11

I Love it :D

Answer 12

love it

Answer 13

Thanks everyone<3

Answer 14

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpoCZtxLNDg
This is us at the show if anyone wants to see him

Answer 15

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60GNX3S54W8

Answer 16

@ispike

Answer 17

Ignore the videos if you want those are just my best rides from when I last rode him and it's to show what he looked like. I'm showing why I miss him so much. At least I have my mare, who is prettier and moves/jumps better she's just younger and can be spookier so it was nice to get on LC and just relax some days

Answer 18

Plus he stays quieter jumping so I rode him a lot

Answer 19

But I'm getting used to Mia and she's getting used to my new barn and we are doing great

Answer 20

But I will always miss LC

Answer 21

Please give feedback on my poem!

Answer 22

it was very heartfelt adnd believe me i know the feeling. It just seemed like a better short story then poem

Answer 23

but honestly anything can be a poem

Answer 24

Yes, I agree it's more a short story. I'm changing it to make it both a short story and less poemish and then to make an actual poem from it

Answer 25

lol yeah

Answer 26

but thanks @ispike

Answer 27

Yea i think thats an awesome idea and if u need help editing either of them just let me know i would be privaliged to help you out!!!

Also are you on wattpad by chance?

Answer 28

Thanks and no

Answer 29

@Crissy15

Answer 30

I'm on wattpad, and awww I love the horse why did he leave?

Answer 31

Sold:(

Answer 32

I helped train him

Answer 33

@sleepyjess

Answer 34

you should try wattpad its really cool and it will copywrite your works so no one can steal them from u

Answer 35

yea..i use it all the time...im goin to see if my mom will let me make another account...

Answer 36

ok

Answer 37

if you do let me know so we can help eachother out and follow eachother im my usernames Noting Society

Answer 38

ok

Answer 39

nice..:)

Answer 40

thx ^_^