Question

Free Verse. Need Help from Grammar Nazis :D

Any suggestions and grammar corrections? Please comment below. I would really appreciate it. I was inspired by my friend's story, so I made her this to make her feel that her older sister still cares for her even though she ignores her. This is my rough draft:

Answer 1

I saw her this morning
Preparing to go to school
I greeted her with a smile
But I guess she didn't hear
She packed her things as she left
She closed the door without a word.

I was alone
Without anything to do
No one to talk to
I hugged myself, thinking;
Thinking about the past

Smile was on her face
Her eyes shine like the sun
Her laughters; filled with joy
Served as music to my ears.
Her warm embraces,
Her sweet kisses to my cheeks,
Her soft hands on mine
Makes me feel safer than any places

Where are they now?
In a blink of an eye
Everything had vanished
Like bubbles in the air,
How I wish nothing had changed.

She came home from work that night
I greeted her with a smile
But I guess she didn't hear
She went straight to her room
Closing her door without even looking.

I was alone at the dinner table
Eating, trying to smile
Looking at three empty chairs
Along with the emptiness I feel inside
I started to wonder why,
Why it has to end this way?

Even though she's still there,
We're like strangers to each other.
Ma, Pa, why did you leave us alone?
Oh God, why did you take both of them?
The pain from loosing them at the same time
Is still clinging in our hearts..
And now, the fear of loosing her
Is killing me slowly.

I greeted her with a smile
Before going to sleep
But I guess she didn't hear
I heard no response
She's busy doing her own things.

The smile on my own face disappeared
I lay down on my bed as I pray,
Promising God, not to leave her
To make her feel that she's not alone
'Coz she can't do it on her own.

I closed my eyes as they get wet with tears
Everything was so quiet
Until she sat behind me
Kissing my left cheek,
"Goodnight my little sister,
But I guess you're sleeping so deeply
So you wouldn't hear what I wanted to say
I will be here always. I love you."