Question

i dont shed anymore tears
my heart is open
i seen you
there was nothing
i could say or do
anything i was thinking
was gone
i looked at you
i had not words
i ran to you
and said hello.
You looked at me,
you gave me your heart.
I looked up at you
kissed you.
your mind went blank
you took my hand placed it on my heart
i felt the heat
we stood there for a while
with nothing being said
my heart sank into my chest.
As u walked away
there was nothing i could do
I dropped to the floor
you turned around an said
"I STILL LOVE HER"
my eyes began to fill with water
I felt it run down my face
My face was covered in tears one more time
I said i would not cry.
It didn't matter because what i was feeling was the worst thing i had ever felt before
I never thought I would feel this pain again.
You said you would always love me ....
But, u lied right ot my face
that day i never stepped out in the sunlight again my arms covered in scars
my face with dried tears still there and my eyes still watering

@Crissy15 @Destinycholie @chainedecho @One098 @YouSir

Answer 1

@CaseyCarns @Destinymasha @demonchild99 @ispike @party_girl @CREEPYMLPMASTER @Kittymeowb @fallenangelorchid @foreverwithwu @sleepyhead314 @ashhhrodriguez @linda360

Answer 2

i need feed back on this poem i need to make it better but not sure if i can

Answer 3

Nice lassie! Very detailed, touching.

Answer 4

@marieislearning @arris04 @jordanloveangel @someoneamaznig204 @gigi1103 @GreenCat @i..am..legend
@Raven011 @rebecca99 @rebeka @redeemed1312 @Race100 @RainbowCupcake7997 @thesweetheart3 @misty1212 @MilenaSaeger @Morgan0608 @monyvia23 @PyroYolka @quickstudent @ROSEQUEEN2014 @TheSmartOne @Nnesha @shifuyanli @shelby1290 @ShayleeCutie @eliasperez191 @Loveless13 @YouSir @mg_omg @tomorrow @AaronAndyson @jakematt24 @billj5 @Catlover5925 @Cicilybailey14 @uChezzy @demonchild99 @DarkMoonZ @linda360 @pielover123 @pinkroses130 @Data_LG2 @crazychickengirl123 @CallMeKiki @tomorrow @swagswagswagswagswag1

Answer 5

@quickstudent

Answer 6

holly mass tagging ...but *thumbs up* SUPER WORKING

Answer 7

thank u and yea i know to many people i dont want anyone to be left out

Answer 8

XD thatsalot of tags for an amazing poem

Answer 9

@MakaylaTracy hey so second to last line u spelled to wrong i think u just typed to fast or something. Also u say i look at u and the next line is kissed u. This is alittle awkward. I would just add in and or i or something. It really just needs one more word. Also this next thing is more of a suggestion. After u quote him when he says i still love her. I think it would be cool if u added in (...) because that kind of puts the reader in this state of shock in which im sure u were in.

Other than that i loved this poem. it was amazing! U just keep getting better and better and thats awesome. This poem has so much emotion that i could feel the pain while i was reading it. I loved it very nice job

Answer 10

it's good @MakaylaTracy

Answer 11

amazing...

Answer 12

nice

Answer 13

well i see this didn't get the many replys to this so i am typing up a new poem that should be a lot better than this stupid love / heart break poem i always end up writing i cant take these type of poems anymore its time for a new me and not this old broing writing who only writes about love heart break crying bleeding screaming and what ever else i have ever written about so who is ready for the new me
i know its not a good idea to change bc of what people think of me but if people dont like me now will they like me if i stop writing about it and start writing about my life and my family and the world instead of what i am feeling and what i am going through. okay i get the point my work is getting boring so i will change that. i hope yall like the new me.

Answer 14

@j57 @J-bird @WWWHHHAAATTT? @samanthha

Answer 15

@Clalgee sorry i missed alot of people