Question

Any suggestions on how to improve this?

Answer 1

Kyle

He is the color that is somewhere between milk chocolate and coffee with cream. You can see his smile from a mile away, its so bright it'd light a room, and its strong enough to cause me to smile. His laugh is like a melody, soothing but missing a harmony. His eyes are the color of special dark chocolate, they're warm, you could get lost in them for hours exploring their secrets.
He's eager to get the things done that need to be done, restless to go to the places that need to be attended. He’s a foot taller, and a gentle giant, he’s as gentle as a flower, and as strong as an ox. He’s wise beyond his years, but still growing and learning. His favorite color is black like the night sky. He’s dedicated to what he believes in and the work he does.


He is enduring when it comes to my long and constant emotional outbreaks, he doesn't give up, or get frustrated or mad; He is calm and has a faith in me that I can see threw his eyes, its unbreakable faith. He looks at me, just one look and I get the butterflies in deep in the pit of my tummy. He's understanding when it comes to little kids and their needs. He works with them in the church and in patients for them is endless, I forget sometimes what I'm doing, and watch him work with the kids, building things in the legos, making arts and crafts, or carrying them on his shoulders so they feel tall.


He laughs, and smiles and Holds me close and I know I'm going to be okay. He smells so different from everyone else, it’s not an overpowering smell, it’s an earthly home smell. He smells like home and I know I can relax, he treats me with such kindness, with such a gentle heart sometimes I forget what my problem even really. He handles the things I can’t with such calm and steady hands that I stand and watch in awe of how he does it. He aimlessly runs his fingers threw my hair, and I catch him staring at me and I can feel the love radiate from his gaze.

His heart belongs to his religion, everything he does, ends in a thank you to god. He looks at me and smiles and sometimes I hear a "thank you god for giving me her." And then I receive a gentle kiss and a hug right before we go in to work with the little ones and teach them the verse of the day.

He doesn't expect me to happy twenty four seven, and he knows that I'll come around eventually. His hair is long and tied into dreads, which falls just at is shoulders, and I find myself letting my fingers run aimlessly threw them. I tell him I like his hair and he smiles, and the smile reaches his eyes, and he says it’s not going anywhere. He’s not slightly embarrassed by me; in public he grabs my hand, or wraps an arm around my waist and says "this is my girl" to anyone who asks. He gives more then he has, He donates to the church and surprises me with little things.


He’s amazingly, sweet, kind, smart, gentle, strong and patient. He’s on time anxious and loving. He is an amazing god loving person all around. He’s got a beautiful skin color somewhere between milk chocolate and coffee with cream. There is no better way to describe him, other than that, he is Kyle, and I wouldn't dare as for anyone else. No one could replace him, no one could ever be him, he is amazing.

Answer 2

@DullJackel09 @ilovewolf @CausticSyndicalist

Answer 3

Its actually fine the way it is

Answer 4

Thank you, :) hopefully my teacher will agree, this is the rough draft and she hasnt finished grading it, and wont let us put a blank document in while we wait we just have to submit the final

Answer 5

@Teddyiswatshecallsme

Answer 6

@ilovewolf

Answer 7

@bibby

Answer 8

He’s amazingly, sweet, kind, smart, gentle, strong and patient. He’s on time anxious and loving.

He’s amazingly, sweet, kind, smart, gentle, strong and patient. He’s on time, anxious, and loving. *

Answer 9

didn't read the whole thing, can't comment as to the content or the rest of the grammar.

Answer 10

This is my rought draft for a descriptive portrait, like I told denny, my teacher hasnt graded it yet but I cant move on with out subbmiting the final draft and IM not allowed to insert a blank document

Answer 11

@cookiemonster2412

Answer 12

I think it's fine the way it is ^-^

Answer 13

I loved it BTW

Answer 14

Thank you :)
I dont know if my teacher would accept it as a final draft

Answer 15

Pssssh I would. It's amazing.

Answer 16

Thank you ^_^

Answer 17

@ThatOneGuy00

Answer 18

I absolutely hate Literature. Sorry.

Answer 19

lol its okay

Answer 20

@PRAETORIAN.10

Answer 21

@demonchild99

Answer 22

wow

Answer 23

Do you see abything I could improve?? if not imma just turn it in

Answer 24

i didnt see anything wrong with it...but here is a tip...read it out loud and that normally helps find some of the mistakes you might have