Question

Hey can Have someone to read my paper and tell me if it is good..Its a personal Essay, I posted like 4 days ago asking if I could get some feedback on ideas of writing my paper on music...but let me know if it is good
/Users/jasmineferguson/Desktop/College English/Jasmine Ferguson Personal Essay.docx

Answer 1

1st part

Answer 2

2nd part

Answer 3

3rdpart

Answer 4

I thought it was really good but think about this:
What is your thesis statement?
Who is this paper pointed towards?
But other than that, it is pretty good.

Answer 5

Okay thank you that's what I was tryna fix with the thesis statement like I don't wanna loose my audience,, but I'll think about it more