Question

Read and critique

Answer 1

“You all are doing a great service to your country and the world.” Said the president on the day before we left for space. That was almost five hundred years ago. We just came out of hibernation as we reached the planet Danope. Our mission is to create a colony on Danope. This planet is going to be the first to be able to let life thrive without a biosphere because it is the first planet, other than our own earth, that has an atmosphere. Danope according to pictures was very much like our earth. It had a vast ocean made of liquid water, and plants, plants actually grew without a biosphere. The animals that it had were amazing there were Gorgangane an egg-laying Cyclopes who are governed by a religious hierarchy. While mating, a breeding pair literally become joined at the hip for several days. There were also Sonzarians a race of marine animals with three nostrils. They have very little agriculture and prefer their food to grow wild. The planet was beautiful.

When we landed on the planet it looked nothing like the pictures that the rover had sent back over 500 years ago. The way that it looked you would have thought that it had been the site of some nuclear warfare. There were no plants or animals. The ocean had dried up. Life would not be possible on this planet. If they were attacked there would be carnage of the Grossons a race of warriors. They cry acid. Or if it was a natural disaster the Thesulans who have advanced scientific knowledge but prefer to live simple lives at one with nature, would have used their knowledge to save it.

We went on to the ships communications and tried to send out a distress signal to the nearest biosphere on Jupiter’s moon Io. When Captain Bones was doing that first mate Mad Dawg was organizing a team to search the entire planet for any signs of life. Mad Dawg packed some weapons and off they went on the ship’s motorcycles. Later that day when it seemed like Mad Dawgs team would never get back, an old retired army general named Victor Steelreaper, who came on the ship as Captain Bones’ military advisor, came flying back on the motorcycle that he was riding with Mad Dawgs team. When he got back he said “We were attacked by some guys in a star ship, it didn’t look like any of the ones from Io. They took Mad Dawg and half of his team captive and killed the others.” It was then that our lives were going to change for ever.

Answer 2

@Tjbrew @ispike @Love_Ranaa

Answer 3

Its sooooooo different :) Like the grammar and puntuation is better and I like it :)

Answer 4

lol i changed a lot

Answer 5

lol im reading it right now its going to take a little bit lol

Answer 6

lol

Answer 7

A lot of the things i told you before you did not fix. So like i dont know what to say other than the same things

Answer 8

ok

Answer 9

im not like trying to sound rude or anything and idk if youre a defensive writer or not but they are things u need to change. Your writing isnt bad at all and i only notice these things because i use to do them.