Question

thoughts? criticism?

Answer 1

i am good at nothing but ruining everything i love
im a walking tornado
a blinking tsunami
a breathing catastrophe
my heartbeat causes the earth to shake and tremble
my voice makes lightning zap from the sky
maybe i should stop living
before the whole world dies

Answer 2

@ispike
@horsegirl27
@77777jeannie77777
@redeemed1312
@k_lynn

Answer 3

Nice

Answer 4

Nice start! There are some things I would change if we want to be really picky. Your metaphors are a bit off because a none of the things you listed actually do the actions which you assigned to them. I get what you're trying to say, but the analogies don't make much sense. Additionally, you should have a comma between 'nothing' and 'but' in the first line.

It is really expressive though, so nice work there!

Answer 5

@TranquilWinds
The reason her metaphors seem off is because she is comparing herself to these natural disasters. For example, when she says "A breathing catastrophe" she is referring to herself being a living, breathing catastrophe. It's very creative, though sometimes difficult to pick up at first glance @jessmitz I enjoyed reading this poem. I liked how deep it goes, and how you personify the natural disasters to depict your own personalities. The only little thing I would really change (and this is going to make me look a little nit-picky) is that you should pluralize "sky" to give it a little bit more of a rhyme, and instead of using "maybe I should stop living" I would recommend using "maybe I should stop being me" I loved this piece, let me know when you come out with another one! ^.^

Answer 6

@tranquilwinds shes using personification.

Answer 7

@jessmitz i like it a lot and i think if u think this is perfect then its perfect. But i also would have liked to have seen at least one line between all of these ones. I think it would be a nice flower