Question

poetry please critic or edit!

i love critics because they make me a better writer so dont be afraid to tell me if you dont like something!

Also I know I tagged a lot of people but i only tag people i think can help me. But if you dont want to be tagged in my post please message me privately and i would be happy to do so

Answer 1

I’m tired of judgmental people
Telling me and other people who we should
And shouldn’t be.
I am not an echo of another.
I’m me and I know I’m weird
And different.
Because I stopped try to be the same,
A long time ago.
Because it turned me into someone I hated.
A bully, judgmental, and basically a zombie.
You see all these people who are worried or are joking about
The “zombie apocalypse”.
But what if this bizarre sounding apocalypse is already among us?
What the truth behind a zombie is normality?
Normality is this concept that gets in your head and tries to change you
Into the background.
It trains you to be afraid of your own shadow and fear everyone else’s.
And the people who are different you envy and loathe.
Because they’re free.
But they’re not…
Because they’re too afraid to come outside
In fear they might fall into normality themselves.
Because the outside world is as freedom as it is a trap.

Answer 2

@bohotness @horsegirl27 @InExileWeTrust @cupcakerain @MakaylaTracy @nothingwasthesame

Answer 3

Whoa. That was good. I just LOVE what you write. it's so powerful, and you are SO talented.

Answer 4

DAMN CHICA THIS IS AMAZING I CANT BELEIVE IT

Answer 5

IKR

Answer 6

@1DISAMAZING2345 @77777jeannie77777 @aayushi.somani @amistre64 @Baby_Bear69 @britanyashton @butterflydreamer @chmvijay @chainedecho @Crissy15 @demonchild99 @emmilinev @fallenangelorchid @geneticrockhopper247 @Heypips @HWBUSTER00 @jagatuba @k12andstudyislandhelp @kittycat123 @koolkat13 @lillymbug @mavagirl552000 @MilenaSaeger @Mr4speed @PoetryPrincess @puppypower49 @Ravenn @roman_princess @serenacox @Sheraz12345 @southmini @xXToxicGummywormsXx @YanaSidlinskiy @~*Ashtyn*~

Answer 7

@horsegirl27 thank you so much I'm prob gonna turn it into as chapter for this book im writing

Answer 8

I have no critic, this is so good. That would be great for it to be in a book :D

Answer 9

@MakaylaTracy thank you girl your so sweet

Answer 10

@horsegirl27 lol yea in all honesty i just wrote it as a poem because i was too lazy to write a chapter lol

Answer 11

your welcome tag me anytime i lvoe reading your work @ispike

Answer 12

@MakaylaTracy lol no prob i will

Answer 13

Very powerful! And something relatable. Keep on rocking and don't let anyone tell you any different!

Answer 14

@InExileWeTrust thank you

Answer 15

lol, I do that all the time @ispike

Answer 16

its good lol i kept reading it over and over but its really good

Answer 17

@nothingwasthesame i'm glad you liked it! How come you kept reading it?

Answer 18

lol it was soo good i had to read it it exactly 13 times

Answer 19

@nothingwasthesame lol that's awesome im glad u liked it that much

Answer 20

I likes it! I likes it a lot! XD It has a great theme and it gets stronger as the poem progresses. Maybe you could add a rhyming scheme, if you wanted to I think that would make the poem even more interesting.

Answer 21

@Abbiegalie223489 personally im not a big fan of rhyme schemes i kinda like writing in the form of poetry slam in a way.

Answer 22

But thank you for your feed back i really do appreciate it @Abbiegalie223489

Answer 23

Your welcome, I get what you mean whenever I write poetry I don't try to rhyme too much either. Your a great poet!

Answer 24

@k_lynn

Answer 25

@ispike I love this!!! And yeah, I hate the way that peole say that we should try to be normal, but what is normal???

Answer 26

@heypips yea me too i wish people would just be like u do u and let me do me

Answer 27

@Twetapoo i suppose so

Answer 28

honestly i will only judge u if ur judging others and i will only judge u if ur harming others

Answer 29

@Twetapoo yea but thats completely different. When i talk about judgement im talking about how ive been judged my entire life because I'm different. I have got a perfect score on abstract minded thinking on the iq test, but i also have five disabilities. That sometimes make it hard for me to explain things verbally and in the moment. So i have out side of the box thinking that i dont always know how to explain. And to most people they think im dumb or annoying. I'm also talking about how some people judge me because im gay. Because im different. I'm asking people to help me become a better writer. We all mistakes but if we ask for help then we also learn to make news while fixing the old. I want to be the best writer i can be. So yea im asking for people to judge my paper, but im not asking them to judge my personality

Answer 30

Your poem is fantastic. My only problem is that I haven't been on OS a lot this week and that I haven't read it sooner, but that's totally my problem, not yours. :)

Answer 31

@geneticrockhopper247 lol thanks