Question

Hi there. This a teaser for a story that I started writing. I just wanted to see what people thought. Please tell me what you think...

Answer 1

The raised voices of the circle of men could be heard throughout the system of caves. The thousands of inhabitants of these caves were used to the raised voices, however. The Council was never quiet. So, the rest of humanity going about its existence underground simply ignored the shouting and attended to their daily routine.

"She's dangerous!" one council member protested. "If she could escape from them, then there's no telling what she could do to the rest of us."

"She's just a child," another argued, gesturing to the girl standing in the center of the circle of elders. Her knotted brown hair was still dripping water from the river that had almost killed her. Hazel eyes bounced around the room, following the conversation that was supposed to determine her fate.

"They'll be coming after her," a third said gravely. "I don't think that she herself is dangerous, but, indirectly, she could destroy us. I say that we send her on her way."

The head of the council had been sitting quietly, watching the debate with interest, albeit significantly less interest than the girl. She wasn't afraid, he noticed, as she followed the debate. She was interested, but not afraid. Interesting since she could die as a result of whatever the bureaucratic morons in the council decided.

Finally, the girl had had enough. "Alright," she said. "All of this talk bouncing around the room, and never once have you even mentioned me directly. You're talking about me as if I'm not even standing right here. If you're going to do something, do something. If you're going to kill me, then kill me. If you're going to send me back to the city, send me back. If you're going to let me go on my merry way, then let me go. But at least tell me, and make up your minds."

"She's right," the council head injected in the shocked silence that followed. "Sitting here talking is doing us no good. And, what the girl knows could be useful to us. So, I vote that she tells us her story, then we decide what to do with her. All in favor, thus signify." He raised his hand as an example, and the hands of the rest of the council raised as well.

"And any opposed?" No hands had raised, but none should have. With an unanimous "aye," asking for objections was a mere formality.

"Then we are in agreement," he continued.

"For once," the girl thought, but she didn't say anything. The head of the council had seen the sarcastic remark coming and shot her a warning glance.

"Who are you?" the one who had thought she was a child asked.

Drawing up what dignity was left in her still sodden frame, the girl began to speak. "My name is Sym."

Answer 2

I LOVE IT!!!! the way the attitude of the girl comes through is lovely! Please write more of it and post on here!!!

Answer 3

I love it!

Answer 4

I love it. What genre is it because I would most likely read it.

Answer 5

It will probably end up being a dystopian-type story.

Answer 6

Ok then I would read it. Thanks.

Answer 7

Its Great!

Answer 8

This is so cool! I don't really consider myself a writer, but all my friends tell me I'm great at writing. I don't know, maybe I'll post something on here too.

Answer 9

Its great. It all ready has me wondering and thats great. I really like how you give a hint of Sym's attitude/personality already. It reminds me of 'Gathering Blue' by Lois Lowry.