Question

Wrote this just now (below). Tell me what you think?

Answer 1

The joy of new life is the only thing that can put a smile on my face in this moment. After the heartbreak of the last few weeks this is like a happy vacation. It will help keep my mind off of what you did, but only for a little while. It’s crazy how much I actually miss you. But what can I say, you have been a major part of my life since August. It’s funny how much things can change with a few words isn’t it? But as I look down at the face of my nephew and look into his blue-grey eyes I realize that this is a new beginning not just for him, but for me too. It is time for me to let you go forever, the memories, the feelings. It’s time to release you from my mind. One step at a time. I let go of you. I let go of your eyes, the way they used to light up like a little kids on Christmas morning when you saw me. I let go of your smile, the way it could brighten up my day. I let go of your smell, my favorite cologne finally fading. I feel empty, but it is a good empty. I feel free.

Answer 2

@leahhhmorgannn @IrishBoy123

Answer 3

@bibby @sleepyjess

Answer 4

There's a great detail improvement from your last one and it really shows - this is beautifully heartbreaking.

Answer 5

I definitely agree with @leahhhmorgannn
I can feel the emotion and ache as I read, and it makes me incredibly sad at what cruelty humans can execute on other people.

Answer 6

Thanks Guys!

Answer 7

Great detail

Answer 8

thanks

Answer 9

I’m sitting here in this empty room and thoughts keep flashing through my mind
I find myself thinking of you
I’m thinking of the night it all went wrong
The words you wrote
the pain I spoke
I see your blue eyes fill with unshed tears
I turn away, swallowing my deepest fears
My heart starts to slowly break as I walk away
I listen to you as you beg me to stay
Straightening my stance, I cast you one last glance
and finally say goodbye.

-How about this one?-
@leahhhmorgannn @JackofallTradez

Answer 10

Again, the message and emotion portrayed is what makes it stand out. But, I notice this time it has rhyming, which intensifies the emotion in this poem. Kudos to your writing, @BrentsGirl4ever , and sympathy for your heartache :(

Answer 11

thank you. @JackofallTradez

Answer 12

No problem, I give credit and sympathy where it's due ^_^

Answer 13

I would love to read about topics like this if I could, but my heart can't take it. I've been through some "relationship issues(?)" in the past, and it just hurts to read things like this.

Not that your work is bad, that's not what I'm attempting to confess at all. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Answer 14

it's alright @_Squish im going though things right now and im just writing down how i feel.

Answer 15

@BrentsGirl4ever I can feel all the emotion and pain and i can relate to it. It is very good, it shows how you really feel. I believe it will all get better eventually.

Answer 16

Thank you @Blonde_Gangsta.

Answer 17

you are welcome

Answer 18

Continue writing its good. just don't continue the pain.... that's not all that good

Answer 19

Seeing you with her makes my heart ache a little more.
Hearing you say the words to her makes me break just a little more.
I turn away but listen close and my tears proceed to fall.
Everything you said to me didn’t matter at all.
But I am getting stronger day by day.
My heart doesn’t ache any longer, my mind isn’t telling me to stay.
I wipe my tears and swallow my fears,
moving on won’t take me years.
I need someone better, someone who will treat me right.
someone who won’t get mad over one little fight.
I will be his princess, he will be my prince.
No one will break us.

Answer 20

i like it. i think you this is your way of letting the emotion and pain out. it works. i can almost feel the heartbreak...

Answer 21

I'm trying to make it better...